THE WRECKED

Chapter 5

  “And you are calling me Daddy…” he said a little calm and the breath I didn’t notice I was holding was released… and he didn’t say anything but he was not hanging up.

  I felt Louise hand wrap around me pulling me close to her body… why is she so clingy all of a sudden… or not all of a sudden. And I felt it, a soft lips touch my neck and my breath hinged…

  “What’s that Goodness? Are you touching yourself?” Mr. Hudson said with a rasp voice, and it felt like he was amused.

  “No sir” I said trying not to make a sound, no matter how I try to pry Louise off of me, she won’t bulge

  “Why are you not calling me ‘Daddy’ again?” he asked sounding all of a sudden serious.

  “What did you take me for Goodness? Am I a joke to you?!” He shouted over the phone and that had me jumping out of Louise embrace.

  I tried to talk but I was just like a fish pulled out of the ocean.

  “Tell the girl to leave and wait for me at home, you are not allowed to leave the house… stay in your room if your mother does not need your help” he said in a voice that sent shivers down my spine in fear, and he hung up.

  I didn’t know my hand was shaking until Louise held it coming to stand in my front, I couldn’t see her just like the first time, she was blurry yet again.

  “Was that your Dad?” Louise said looking me straight in the eyes and the tears fell and I could see her beautiful eyes clearly. I couldn’t hold it in any longer, I … I …. Think I like her, I like Louise and that’s was not part of my life plan even though I do not have any plan.

  “Dessie you know, you can tell me anything right?”

  “I’m your friend” Louise said and I didn’t know if I was disappointed or happy that she considered me a friend

  Am I even allowed to be disappointed? This friend she is to me, I’m not even allowed to keep it.

  “Yeah and that’s why you should come and be going to your house!” I exclaim quickly cleaning the tears away.

  “You look so miserable Dessie” and Louise saw through me again

  I smiled at her… I try to smile at her through my pain but it just won’t do, whenever I tried to smile, tears well up in my eyes and I have to go clearing my throat to clear the lump away.

  “And you should not make it more miserable, right?” I said after trying so much hard not to say this to her

  I do not want to lose another friend but here we go again, the kids they talk about happy ending all of the times and sometimes I want to believe in it too but then I look at my life… will I be able to have this happy ending without this ordeal interrupting it?

  I once try to council myself but it all ended up with me just telling myself how I should end it all but then I always thought about my mom, I’m the only person on her side.

  She is just a victim, I’m sure she wanted to hold on to my real dad but can you hold on to someone who is not holding onto you? I guess that’s why she turns blind eyes, she doesn’t want to know how severe it is, the less you know, the less it hurts…. My mom is holding onto Mr. Hudson because he holds onto her too, so you see… I do not want to blame my mom that much but I’m only human.

  “Goodness you know I can’t help you if you do not reach out your hand… but I will be here when you do and I will not hesitate to hold your held out hand and when I do, I will never let go… not this time… I will hold onto you forever I will not let you disappear on me again” she said and this was the first time seeing her cry, I thought she’s one of those girls that try to independent, seeing her cry makes my heart goes I don’t know, frantic? And this time I was the one who hugged her and she didn’t hesitate to hug back.