RED HOPES

Reverie

I unlocked the door, closing it behind me, a deep breath liberated out as I had held it together for the longest time. A flushed face welcomed me through the mirror with smudged lips curving upwards. It reflected such a pleasing form of me, that I took minutes to admire myself, Alanis had that rediscovering effect upon me, as If I was born again with features enhanced by his efforts…. “What are you doing?  It’s just a kiss.”  my inner voice had to quip in between, waking me up from the love struck era I tossed away years ago. Feelings, attraction wasn’t my thing. It was just a kiss a toe curling, unwinding and totally mind refreshing kiss yet I couldn’t be involved with Alanis. A kiss and some ruminating coincidences weren’t enough to fall for a guy, especially Alanis Carter who was good 1 percent of the time while a jerk 99!

Tired feet making their excited way towards the hideous closet, flipping through the clothes I opened my hidden drawer.

Few pumps of lotion and a sensual music in the background, I put a thick cast upon my body before floating upon my bed which couldn’t be more comfy.  I couldn’t recall the last time I hummed doing things but here I was with a book in my hand ready to feel a bit of ecstasy. “Happy new year” I  wished the little girl who occupied a large frame upon my bedrest. Luna told me to keep a record every time I read the book, even if I felt a minor change I had to note it down. I dozed off halfway through the ‘pleasure yourself’ chapter with the book upon my chest and fingers somewhere near the thighs.


A usual Tuesday morning, steamy cup of coffee, bowl of cereals at those beige marble table was just a cosy first morning of 2023 I’d imagined. My to do list contained the basics except for a fact that a sizzling hot kiss enveloped everything and anything I did today, there was also this stupid tinge of red upon my cheeks, maybe the temperatures dropped or some shit had happened. I flunked the windows open and  the view of central park right through the glass served those rich vibes. I grabbed my phone to just view some reels, with a cheery smile upon my lips. This year seemed different, it came swiping along hopes within it’s feathers.

“Positive feelings” I smiled the brightest in the sun, with thumbs gliding upon the screen… an abrupt halt froze them, on the spot. The first thing in the morning, correction this early in the morning was a video of me and Alanis passionately making out on the yacht. With our faces eerily clear, even Samsung lacked in clarity compared to this quality. “Fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!” my instant reflex brushed off any positive feelings which earlier topped my head. My instinct hinted at the TV and for the time I was disappointed being correct. Our video reached almost every news channel, kept playing on loop.

“Hotheads making out in public” -nbc

“Kiss the mister, a news reporter’s good luck charm!”

“Caught in the act”

Hellacious!!

My eyes couldn’t be more shocked, or maybe I wasn’t used to falling into media traps I knew the crazy nook and crannies of it but hello? Good luck charm? I needed to check in with the editor of those sleazy one liners. I wouldn’t pass such language but my recent focus was upon our video.

I cringed hard watching all those channels degrade something so blissful into a gossip stock! I never understood the hate people threw at media and now I know why. It had been torturous two hours being my eyes glued to the TV with a string of numerous calls, I deliberately ignored. This first hand embarrassment wasn’t in my new year’s bucket list!! I hope Alanis saw it too, what would he do? How was he handling the news? He didn’t contact me since thirty-first December. And by the course of action our names were being tarnished he wasn’t the person to just sit around the corner or hide behind his LED. Or was he actually trying to remove the video, throwing money to just erase his and my name together which was scribbled virtually together. The other option seemed more real.

Cutting through all of those doubts, a call interrupted my trail of thoughts. “Speak of the devil.” I snarled at the caller id brightening my screen. “Sorry but who the hell leaked out our video” I delayed the greetings for another time. As the matter at hand was reaching a score of millions views.

“I have no idea but I’m working on it.” His eerily calm voice wasn’t matching my high pitched one. Yet I didn’t dwell much. “Are you okay?” another question struck with genuine concern right at my head. And this time I stuck back a savage reply crawling on the tip of my tongue.

“Fine minus the nosy netizens leering at our intimacy.” The answer rolled out quite shaky as I suppressed my rage within calmness.

“Don’t worry it seems some sleazy tabloid, it would be off the net soon.” His consoling voice did calm my wrecking nerves, but they didn’t help much in the long hours.

Hours passed and the heat didn’t settle down, the video was still out circulating to no extents, those piercing eyes were live example of it, as I made my embarrassed way towards the cabin I soo much wished there was a hole which would swallow me alive, leaving no trace of my living behind. Because this was just too cringe, lame, cheesy and every word in the dictionary which described the feeling, for my reputation.

The video already broke records of our previous videos combined. I wasn’t able to garner enough courage to face any of my known people excluding Johan and Kenna who were supportive enough to make me face the world. Though getting lectured by John for not being careful while kissing your partner was a grade A level drag.

A long ring of my phone vibrated in the corner I turned a far blind eye to it but I knew who was calling me right now. I puttered toward the phone my palms clammy and nerves all over the place I needed to gather them. And the caller id did not disappoint my gut. “Yes Mom.” I answered maintaining my composure.

“Honey what is happening there?” Momma’s voice echoed through the phone’s speaker.

“I- don’t know, but don’t worry we’re trying to bring this down.” My lips thinned. Though her voice was calm I knew there was a ton of work loaded upon her desk. She was a professor in New York’s suburban area and things ran crazy around these times of examinations.

“Rev..  we trust you and your decisions, and we’ll support you no matter what, just be safe and true.” Momma spoke and a wave of comfort hit my stomach.

“Yep, I’m running late. Can I call you back later?” I couldn’t with her being this understanding, my parents always were understanding of everything I did. “Tell dad and Aayna to not worry about stuff.” I smiled, genuinely.

“Bye honey. We love you.” The line went dead while I stared at the marbled floor looking at my own reflection, too lost I didn’t notice Kenna sneaked into my cabin with my favourite cold coffee melting in the warmth of her hands. “Thought you needed some.” She slid the cup on my table as I sulked behind a twenty inch screen. “How are you feeling now?”

“Embarrassed and pathetic thank you.” A monotonous chuckle escaped from my lips as I kept my eyes upon the report I was working on. Theft

“Oh come on honey, people will forget.” The straw tip nibbled between her lips, with the lipcolor staining it. “It’s a little steamy though!!”

“No they’re not forgetting the video is still out and ohh..” I flashed my phone at her. “See two thousand more people think we make a good couple!!”

“They are because you’re blind to see your own capabilities.. haters gonna throw dirt because they soo much wished to be in your place. I mean you cannot deny the fact that he’s an incredible kisser!” she did make sense, as her twisted words somehow cracked the stubbornness In me.

I hated that man and the way I was being dragged along his nepo filled name but a lusty part of me drooled over the video, with how perfectly our lips disappeared into each other, his hands gently squeezing the bare flesh between that risky gap of my top and shorts, anybody could mistake us to be a couple madly in love… the passion and intensity all together captured in a twenty seconds long video. The kiss was indeed incredible!!

“Gosh Rev was he that good?!” Kenna’s chirpy voice echoed in my ears, as faint red coloured the tip of my nose.

“Uhuh!!” I agreed without even addressing the situation, but realising the meaning “What?? Are you talking about??” I asked trying so hard to not sound funny. How dumb could I’ve possibly become??

“Don’t you try to hide it from me!! I know 99.9% men drop you to your home with the intention of fucking you.” She threw the facts casually at my face. “and by the way he kissed you…” She paused hinting something with her mischievous eyes. “You guys definitely did IT” And how the fuck was she soo good in delusions??

“Being professionally nosey is kind of making you delusional Ken, it was just a tiny New year’s kiss” I lied. “He’s my rival, The man who annoys me to the core.” Justifying was my only option yet my voice came out defeated already with my genuine expressions and yes that was true. Apart from the kiss, we were inharmonious to each other all the times.

“Say whatever you want.” She waved her hand in the air turning spinning her heels around me. “Anyway do you think Christy is taking fillers again?” her question met with my nonchalant stare and soon few people started crowding the glass window.
“I should better leave.” Kenna spun her heels around, sprinting out of the cabin. She needed to stop coming at public places this often.

Work piled up my table along with this scandal and as exhausted as anyone could I took half day off from work, those intruding gazes of my workmates turned sympathetic ofcourse they’ve read those hate comments netizens were felicitating us with.

As I made my way towards the tube, herds of paparazzi flocked around while several news reporters, many known faces too appeared greedy for more tea. Suffocation clutched my body into it’s tight grasp as I hardly tried to move forward. Flashes blinding me in the process, Great!! Just great yet I wasn’t intimidated, rage summoned into my lungs I opened my mouth ready to spill all the poison they deserved but a Maybach halted right between the divider. Dark tints pulled down and a charming face appeared clear.

“Hop in Ames!” the urgency in his voice dragged my feet straight into the car. We revved cutting through the trail of hungry seagulls snatching the fish from their mouth before they could taste it.

“Did we?! Ohh my gawd!” excitement swirled inside my throat as I laughed, leaving those nosy nobodies behind. Surprise filled my squeal making it two decibels high. “Didn’t notice you Miss Carter, I’m sorry.. umm hii”

“Ahh don’t worry the settings are dark enough” she shrugged, pouting at her chipped nail which was ruining the neat manicure, awkwardness crept beneath the layers of my body. Remnants of the interview was still fresh in my memory I wondered if she still held grudges against me.