Pangaia: Agendas (Year One: Fall)

Chapter Thirty-Four - Jewl

Jewl opened the small box she'd gotten from Halyn's parents. Inside were rare gems—powerful gems. Why would they give this to me? This makes no sense! I'm not Halyn's friend. These had to have been expensive. So why?

She wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, of course. Anything she could have in her arsenal, she'd gladly take. What do they know?

Strange things have been happening at Pangaia, and that was saying a lot given how strange the students were in general. Someone always had some kind of magic dilemma. Life altering on a small scale, but nothing dangerous or crucial.

Granted, Jewl had life altering magical drama on a grander scale compared to most of the other students. She didn't come from a cozy home life with two loving parents who wanted to take care of her. Her father wanted to support her, but couldn't because he had to stay hidden. Her mother had too many other kids to worry about to spend quality time with her despite her supposedly being the favorite.

I don't want to have any more problems. I have too many of them. And she knew they all had to do with Cheyenne. Everything is about her these days.

Jewl didn't quite feel ready to go to her dorm room. She lived alone, and not by choice. Granted, she wasn't sure who she'd want to room with. Most of the students at the school annoyed her with their naivety. At the same time, she also had loads of jealousy. If only her biggest problem was finding the right dress to impress Anj with for Homecoming.

If only.

With a sigh, she went to the student lounge, the one place she could still be and not quite be on her own. Small groups of students studied and chatted. Most would be going to bed soon. It put off the inevitable all the same.

She then proceeded to sit on the couch in the center of the room. Setting the box in her lap, she ran her fingers over the top. I hate Homecoming.

Then as if answering a prayer, Anj arrived.

He walked over to the couch and sat next to her.

"Escaped the clutches of Mommy?" she teased.

"She's sleeping," he said.

"I figured as much. Otherwise I'm not sure she would have let you out." She paused. "I'm guessing she didn't want you to have ice cream?"

"That was my choice," he said, his voice so quiet. "I haven't been feeling my best today. Not because of Mom. She's not helping the matter, though either." He groaned. "I hate talking about her so negatively. I come across as ungrateful and mean."

Jewl exhaled. Then with a shaking hand, she reached out to hold his. She dared to give it a tight squeeze. "You can love someone with all of your heart, yet also loathe a lot of how they make you feel. I know how that goes all too well."

"Sorry for bringing that out of you."

"I wasn't referring to you," she whispered. "My own family isn't always the best of people."

"I'm assuming that's why I have never met them."

"A big reason." She almost told him more.

Almost.

There was a silence that hung between them like he wanted her to reveal more about her life outside of school grounds.

I'm not ready. She didn't know when she would be, but tonight wasn't the night. Tonight, she wanted to stay focused on him and his emotions. They weighed so heavily on him.

"Your mom isn't terrible," Jewl continued. "Definitely frustrating. I make a lot of jokes and snide comments about hexing her, but I'd never actually do it. She's too important to you, and I know that a lot of it is because she's hurting."

"How long do I give her a pass for that?" he asked.

"That's up to you, but when you decide you're done you need to communicate to her how she's causing you pain." She frowned. "And causing Zes pain. I think that's the part that hurts the most."

"It is." She barely heard him say it.

"I don't like seeing him sad either." Jewl carefully interlaced her fingers with his. "That's all I feel coming off of him. Sadness. I don't think he's taking it personally. I think he wants so badly to fix her again, and hates that he can't."

"So he takes her emotional abuse in the hopes that perhaps that will be the cure." Anj grunted.

"Yeah, I hate that too," she said.

He ran his thumb over the top of her hand, and it sent a warm tingle into her stomach.

"I'm not actually going to the dance with Cheyenne. She's Zes' date," he said.

"That's a change from what I heard earlier." Jewl didn't want to admit how glad she was to hear the news.

"We can figure everything out, right?"

"I haven't found the answer yet," she confessed. "But I don't want to stop looking for one."

"I don't either." He turned his face toward hers, almost like he wanted to kiss her.

Goodness, she wanted to kiss him. Keeping her eyes forward was hard. So hard. If she gave in too soon, she knew they'd only fight more and take another leap backward. They had to go forward, and they had to do so carefully. It was the only thing that might save them.

After a few seconds, Anj nodded. "I understand. We have plenty of time to work our way back up to where we were."

"Yes." She let out a breath of relief.

"I should get back to my room. I need to make sure Zes is okay. He's being even more quiet than usual. I don't think it's because of our mom. Did I miss something at the ice cream social? Besides, the presents, I mean?"

She shook her head. "He's nervous. He's so smitten with Chey."

"That's got to be it," Anj said. He grinned. "I'll give him a pep talk!"

"If anyone can get him to relax, it's you." Please don't make him more nervous.

"Goodnight Jewl. Sleep sweet." Anj stood from the couch, and she immediately missed the heat of his body.

"You too," she said.

She wished he could see her smile. He had to have known how happy their conversation made her. Every glimmer of hope was one she'd cling to.

That's how she survived.