Pangaia: Agendas (Year One: Fall)

Chapter Forty-One - Cheyenne

 Cheyenne sighed and glanced off to the side, anywhere, so long as she didn't have to look at Dr. Warhol. "No, I guess there isn't a whole lot I can say. Do you want me to talk about my feelings or something? Those should be pretty obvious. I feel used, violated, confused, pick your favorite synonym and it probably applies."

The doctor didn't say anything. She didn't so much as blink. She kept her gaze intent on Cheyenne, listening and waiting for the girl to finish her thoughts.

"I don't know if I'm okay. I don't know if I'm not okay. I don't know anything beyond feeling confused."

"What has you confused?" Dr. Warhol asked. She crossed her legs and made a note in her book.

"I'm still trying to understand why. Most of it has to do with what he said to me."

"And who is that?"

"Lucien." She couldn't say his name without feeling dirty. It felt horrible on her tongue. "I barely remember anything that happened that night, and I guess I should be thankful, but it's leaving me so frustrated. Ever since I met him, I've felt like my life is a blur, like I've missed out on so many things and had so many memories taken away."

"That's understandable, Cheyenne," Dr. Warhol said. She put her notebook down on the table and pushed it aside. "I wish I could say I have a magic cure to take it all away. I can tell you I'm here for you to talk to all you want, but I know it won't help you if you don't let it. If you don't want to say anything, you don't have to, but I will say this. Whatever you ask me, whatever you need to know, no matter what it is, if I don't know the answer, I will find it for you. Even if everyone else ignores the issue and pushes it aside. I'll tell you. Speaking off the record and as one woman to another, a lot of this would be different if you had been informed instead of sheltered."

"So then can you tell me why?" Cheyenne asked, staring at the woman through tear-filled eyes.

"Tell me everything you remember from when you first met him up until now, and I can try."

She told the whole story, trying her hardest to remember every detail. Anything could have been important. She made sure to note all of the dreams and blackouts. When she was finished, she waited to see if the doctor had any kind of answer.

Dr. Warhol chewed on her pen as she relaxed in her chair. "When you first mentioned the blackouts, I thought you were referring to post traumatic stress. You said you had dreams of being bathed? You were washed and cleaned? Dreams where you weren't yourself? I've heard of a ritual similar to this. It's the cleansing of the mind, body, and spirit. What have they told you about your great-ancestor Persephone the First?"

"Just that she was wanted by Hades? There was some kind of agreement between the two written into a contract?"

"A covenant," Dr. Warhol said with a nod. "He didn't just want her. He loved her, and once she realized beauty was more than skin deep, she loved him as well. At this point in time, she was already stuck in a relationship with someone who was only using her, not to mention abusive.

"It's a beautiful but tragic love story. Two individuals so deeply in love with one another they would do anything to be together but forced apart because of duty and politics. Because they knew they couldn't be together, they did the next best thing. They sealed away their spirits so that someday when everything was aligned just right, they would be reunited forever."

"Sounds romantic," Cheyenne whispered, but she didn't like where the story was going.

The doctor nodded and let out a sour laugh. "Yes, quite. The purpose of the bathing ritual is to cleanse and secure the body of a host for a nomad, or locked away a spirit. A spirit like your ancestor's. I'd have to do some research and digging around, but I'd bet everything those dreams, those experiences of you being cleaned, were the minions of the underworld preparing your body for the coming of their sleeping queen."

"So then the blackouts were..."

"Persephone the First, overtaking your body and use it for her own purposes, and she wanted to be reunited with the man she loved. Why Hades chose Lucien and not a member of his own family in the Divine, I'm not sure, but I will find out for you."

Cheyenne nodded and swallowed hard. "But if she took over my body and is still inside me, why is she not using me now? Why didn't she make me stay with him?"

"You're a strong-willed girl. I don't think she was counting on that, or for you to continue existing after the ritual was complete. I'm pretty sure they're both aware that your parents, the Divine, and every celestial being in existence would do everything in their power to stop this from happening."

"Can it be stopped?"

"I don't know."

"Mr. Thantos seems to think the Divine wanted this to happen."

"Oh, I'm sure there are members of the Divine who did."

"Jewl is one of the Divine," Cheyenne whispered.

She glanced over at the doctor, wondering if she had known this piece of information. She wasn't quite sure if she should have felt like she had just betrayed her peer by revealing the secret, but she did anyway. Dr. Warhol didn't appear surprised, so she felt better about it quickly.

"You may doubt it, but she is by far the best ally you can make in this school."

"But I think she's—"

"If there's one thing you take out of this conversation, let it be that. Don't ever forget it." She stressed the point, making sure to lock eyes with Cheyenne as she spoke.

"Okay."

"We're out of time. I'll research as much as possible for you and tell you if I find anything new at our next session. If something else happens, more blackouts, anything, don't be afraid to talk to me. We can make an emergency meeting."

Cheyenne stood up. "Why do you care all of a sudden?"

"I've always cared, but the short version is, because I've been there. The long version is very long."

"Fine," Cheyenne said with a roll of her eyes. "You'll have to tell me all about it next time then."

She left the office without saying much else outside of a polite but stiff goodbye and went to meet her friends in the dining hall. It would be their first meal where they would all be together again. Zes had been released from the hospital earlier that morning, and she couldn't wait to see everyone.

Halyn was the first to sit at the table, doing her duty and keeping it reserved just like she had the entire week they had been separated. She waved eagerly at Cheyenne with the biggest of smiles.

In the past, Cheyenne would have felt on edge because of all the eyes watching her walk through the room. She couldn't have cared less then.

One by one, they all sat down. They all exchanged smiles and hugs, and for an hour, everything was back to how it should be.