The Truth About Nora Jones

Believe or betray

*Nora's pov*

It looks like Jules has been betraying me. Again. I'm not jumping into conclusions, but I basically saw him talking to Ann-Marie next to a Valentine's Day shop. They looked like he just gave her a gift to pardon him and get back with her.

Alright, I know I really shouldn't, and you might think I'm skeptical. There's a reason for that...At the first place, believing Jules WAS hard. I don't know if I should forgive him because I don't want to be broken again.

With the whole Dylan drama, plus my mother, plus Avery, life never gave me chances. Opportunities. The only thing that I could have did was hope. Every time I went into action, everything went wrong...Which doesn't necessarily make me want to again.

Every day, I kept on hoping. Hoping everything would go to what it was. But every day, my anxiety was increasing, and so decreased did my self-esteem. I couldn't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore.

And I know Jules isn't related to all that, yet I would never appreciate becoming even worse that I already am. I know, that sounds crazy and overdramatic, but that's how life shaped me.

Besides it's not like I had the opportunity to choose who to be. I wish I was strong. Confident. I wish my self-esteem would make me a better person than I am. I'm NOT a bad person, even though my choices aren't always logical.

Thinking about that makes me even more sad. More depressed. I must run away some days when the situation doesn't please me. It's been three times. Three times so far since the start of the school year.

I can't say I've been spoiled. I joined in October at that school- at least I got used to it, but I never got used to my daily drama.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in another world then others. Some days I'm down-to-earth and the others my head is in the clouds. Freak might be the worst compliment someone gave me.

I can still hear Jules yelling at me behind. But I don't care. As I say, I don't give a fuck by now. I don't want to let him stop me. I want him to respect my decisions, and MAYBE I'll get back at him someday.

MAYBE.

Yet that doesn't mean I'll forgive him right away. I'm kind, but not THAT kind. I mean, I usually forgive people but now I just need some time to think. Pretty much a lot. I want to think about Jules and the whole situation.

I can do a reset with my own life if I want to. What I mean is; I can read all my personal diaries, trying to fix what I did and just...Try to become a better person! Even if I tried for fifteen years now.

I want to make a change. Not a change in the world since I know I can't. I wouldn't have the guts or the organization. Yet if there's someone that can change me today, it can only be me.

I can always feel my heart sinking when it comes to Jules. Positively or negatively? I don't know.... Both?

Nora, wait up! I hear Jules saying

I keep running, running the fastest I can to my house. I freeze when I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I can't help but turn around. I face Jules, who is frowning, staring at me like I'll do something bad. Hm, he knows me well!

Nora, please hear me out, I'm sorry! He sighs, looking desperate

I want to believe him. I want to believe him so bad! But I need proof. Or else I'll fall in his trap by the time of saying "Booh" ...

And why should I? It's hard to trust you, Jules...Give me proof and maybe I can change my opinion on the subject...I retort, feeling my eyes fill with tears

Jules sighs again, releasing his hand again as he looks at Ann-Marie. A cruel grin is printed on her face, as always. But now it looks like it's deepening.

- Nora, if you want explanations, I need you to pay attention. I need your time. He explains softly

I sigh and glare at him, my arms crossed as I think about it. Defeated, I decide to go ahead and give him a chance.

Alright, bet. Go on, Jules, I'm listening. Why were you in that shop in the first place?

Eh, I just went to buy some Valentine's Day gifts for you, Nora...Nothing more, and for nobody else than you. I know you feel kind of messed up about Dylan, but I'm genuine.

I pause and rethink his words. That would make sense that he was coming to buy presents for me, since I'm his girlfriend. A little skeptical again, I cross my eyes and narrow my eyes, signaling him to continue.

But she came by, he rolls his eyes, and it looks like she planned that you'd come...She really wants to get back with me for some odd reason. She really hates you...

I chuckle, amused. Heh, I already noticed that she hates me. I can see it in her eyes... I'm already feeling better now that Jules has explained that to me. He didn't cheat on me. I can finally breathe!

Trying to suppress a smile, I look back at him. I'm SO glad!

Feeling guilty about doubting him, I hug him slowly as I whisper:

I'm sorry Jules, I'm such a jealous jerk! I chuckle

Jules smiles and kisses my forehead, as I see him sending a middle finger to Ann-Marie.