All The Ways We Touch [MxM]

twenty - catching fire pt. two

As Jamison's words sunk in, a radiant smile spread across Elliot's face. In a second, he went from nervously hopeful to beaming with joy that flooded through his veins with relief. Every whisper of worry fell away and left him buzzing with glee and hope for the future. "I knew it," he whispered, not bothering to hold back his tears. They needed to come out to relieve some of the pressure he was cracking under. "I could see it in the way you looked at me."

Seeing Elliot so elated sped his heart back up in excitement. Unfortunately, his stomach grew more upset as it increased in speed, though he tried to ignore it. "All I want to do is gaze upon you, Elli."

Too focused on Jamison, and not letting the urge to leap on him overpower him, he didn't notice as the machine began to beep more rapidly. All he could hear was his kind words and as he looked on at him, he wasn't sure what else to say. This had gone so differently than he'd expected, for the better, but it was still a shock that he wouldn't have to fight Jamison to convince him to be honest with himself. "Jam—"

All of a sudden, Jamison heaved, shutting his eyes tightly as he tried to keep his mouth closed. The beeping was rapid again now but he couldn't focus on his breathing while he tried to keep from vomiting on himself.

"Fuck," he muttered, picking the wastebasket back up and holding it in front of Jamison. He'd secretly hoped that if Jamison could be honest with himself it would also break through his puking problem.

Another heave and Jamison threw up for the second time. It was unpleasant, but still much less than at Elliot's house. After, he spit into it, trying to clear his mouth. Groaning, he looked up at Elliot, his breathing slowing back down and his stomach calming somewhat.

"I thought we were in the clear," he frowned. "I had hoped this conversation would make it go away."

At that, Jamison gave a jaded laugh and shook his head. "I wish it were that easy."

"Though it seems like you get sick every time your heart rate speeds up while you're stressed," Elliot pointed out.

"It's not just anxiety," he muttered, closing his eyes. "Since I know that's what you're thinking."

"I wasn't thinking that. I know it's complicated." His frown only deepened. "I'm only trying to figure out what it is exactly so I can help you stop it." Then it dawned on him. 'Wait, why is he saying that? Does he already know?'

Taking a deep breath, Elliot decided that confronting things head-on continued to be the best method for them to make progress. "Jam, do you already know why this happens to you?" The possibility had never even crossed his mind.

It wasn't time for that conversation. "Elli, I've been exceedingly calm during the most stressful conversation of my life, will you please go tell them to remove the restraints?"

"I'm proud of you," Elliot said, standing back up. "Though I'm sorry that it had to be like this. I'll be back soon." Sighing, Elliot turned around and left the room. So Jamison was still going to deflect and keep him at a distance, at least about some things. He couldn't say that he was surprised but he was still disappointed.

Jamison had barely closed his eyes before Elliot returned. "That bad?"

"The doctor's with another patient but he'll be with us when he's done," Elliot said, returning to the sink to wet another few paper towels. "Can I clean you up? They left you all bloody," he frowned. "Though I heard you wouldn't let them do anything until they sedated and restrained you. Was it because they were touching you?" Or was he trying to run from the hospital too?

Smiling, Jamison nodded. The way that Elliot always wanted to care for him made him feel so safe. "They wouldn't listen to me," he said, rolling his eyes. "They just kept grabbing me and bombarding me with questions about what happened and I couldn't help it but I started throwing up again as soon as they started pumping me full of fluids with the IV."