All The Ways We Touch [MxM]

forty-one - a storm pt. one

After what felt like an eternity at arm's length, Jamison had finally been able to feel Elliot touch and kiss him, and it made him almost feel normal—or as close to it as his demons would allow. Regardless, it was difficult not being in a good mood on that overcast Tuesday afternoon. The sky was dark with heavy-looking clouds covering the gray; there was a heaviness to the air that he could feel and that told him that not just rain was coming but a storm and an intense one at that.

For the first time in a while, Jamison was alone and on campus without Elliot there to watch over him. Admittedly, he kind of enjoyed the slice of independence after spending all of his time with him. It gave him an opportunity to go back down to the clearing, which Elliot generally tried to avoid now, for a cigarette and to sketch. His drawing had been slacking and as the semester raced towards the homestretch, he needed to get caught up. There was no way he could afford to lose his scholarship, even though Elliot would assuredly offer to make it up for him, but he didn't want his benevolence. He wanted to keep it and prove to himself that he wasn't becoming overly reliant on him.

After spending so many years barely getting by, he was still uncomfortable with the financial freedom that Elliot offered him. It was nice, and he was grateful for it, but he didn't want to count on it. The perks of dating someone who would never have to work, and who didn't want him to have to either, were endless but Jamison still wasn't comfortable with that idea and was unsure if he ever would be. Hopefully, it would end up being a moot point and he'd be able to make it as an artist in order to provide for himself but that thought presented a whole other set of questions that he'd yet to solve. Who was he making art for? Anyone other than himself seemed wrong. Same with tying it to capitalism and making art into a job. But if he wasn't going to finance his life through art sales, how else would he?

Departing the clearing, he started off towards the bus stop for the first time in weeks. He had work and Elliot was busy working on a class project that was frustrating the hell out of him from the string of texts he'd received over the course of the morning. It was difficult to discern if Elliot was more upset about his bonehead partners or not being able to be with him. While he didn't want to bring it up, Elliot had developed separation anxiety, which was obvious and understandable, but their life would demand times when they couldn't be together and Jamison worried if Elliot would be able to handle that the longer they spent every minute together.

Jamison: sorry to hear that you're dealing with a bunch of idiots <3

As Jamison trudged up the hill and approached the science and art buildings, he became keenly aware that there were people looking at him—not many, but enough to catch his attention. The first couple of people he noticed looking at him glanced away when they were caught, then there were a couple who he caught outright staring at him, but the clincher was a girl who pointed at him and when their friend whipped their head around to look, began to whisper with one another. It was so bizarre that he was unsure if he believed what he'd seen.

"Hey, Jamison!"

He was so startled that he nearly dropped his phone but managed to catch it before it came crashing down onto the pavement. Looking up, he frowned when he saw Justin.

"Elliot's not around," he said, slipping his phone back into his jacket pocket, it vibrating as soon as it was out of his hand.

"Good, I'm not trying to talk to him," he said from a few feet away, clearly more than a little afraid of him after their last encounter.

Jamison continued walking towards him, trying to ignore his phone. "I have to catch the bus."

"I just need a minute," Justin said, holding up his hands, "please."