The Woman Who Doesn't Believe In Love (Lee Siblings Series#1)

Chapter Twenty Five

Self Care!

Hmmmm.... Nasa harapan ko na siya at dalawa na lang kaming nandito sa sala, wala ni isa samin ang nagsasalita, hindi ko alam kung dapat bang ako yung unang magsalita? Pero bakit ako? Siya ang pumunta dito, siya dapat unang magsasalita. Tama dapat siya. Hayts! Bakit kahit nasasaktan na ako ng Paulit ulit ng dahil sa kanya, ito pa rin ako gusto ko siyang yakapin at sabihin kung gaano ko siya kamahal, pero hindi, tama........ Kailangan kong I control ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya lalo na para sa kaibigan ko.....

Akala ko magdamag na kaming magtitigan dito buti na lang nakaramdam siya.

"Samantha" - Knight said na may halong kaba.

"What? Why are you here?" Kinakabahan kong tanong sa kanya, ano ba sam relax.

"Thank you for letting me talk to you, I rea-" I didn’t let him finish speaking.

"Does Chel know you’re here? If you have something to say, just say it, don’t beat around the bush, Knight."  I asked and answered him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," he said softly and bowed his head.

"Sorry? For what?" I asked him grumpily. Why is he apologizing? For what? Is it because he hurt me? Because of what happened to me? Or is it because he found out about my illness and now he feels guilty?

Huminga siya ng malalim bago tumingin sakin at magsalita.

"Sam, I can't expect your forgiveness, though I certainly hope for it. All I can say is that I truly want things to be okay between us. I want you to feel okay and eventually even happy when you're around me. I want to earn back the wonderful relationship that we had. Hopefully, in the future, we can find a way to move past this and create happier times together." - Knight said habang hawak ang kamay ko.

Bakit parang ang dali dali sa kanyang sabihin lahat yan, after all? Kung yung Samantha na dati yung sinabihan Niya ng mga iyan, sigurado masayang masaya, pero I'm not Sam na martyr sa kanya, why ngayon lang Knight? Kung kilan nag decide na akong itigil yung nararamdaman ko para sayo, kasi lahat ng taong Mahal ko ay affected na.

Tinanggal ko yung kamay Niya sa kamay ko, tumayo ako at tumalikod sa kanya.

"Hmmmm........ Wha-what di-did you say?" Mahina Kong tanong pero sa totoo lang kinakabahan na ako.

I felt him stand up and approach me. I just can't face him; I might suddenly hug him and forgive him. Not this time, Samantha. Not this time.

"Sam, I know I have no right to say that to you, especially after everything I've done to you, but I'm willing to wait for you, Sam."- He said.

I turned to him and looked into his eyes and asked, "Knight, why? Why now? W-what else do you need from me?" - I said to him, almost in tears.

"After that day, I realized that, I  want to hold your hand when we go walking. I love looking into your eyes as you look into mine. I smile every time I see you smile. I admit it, I'm so in love with you. Each moment spent with you means everything to me. I hate when I'm away from you. I love the feeling I get when you wrap your arms around me and I like how you smile when I pull you closer. Being in your arms cuddling together watching the world go by is just beautiful to me, I could do it forever. I just want to be with you, Samantha. Just give me another chance. Please." - knight said habang nakaluhod siya sa harapan ko at hawak ang mga kamay ko.

"I-I have been through so much pain, Knight while I was trying to protect anyone from being hurt. I keep giving a piece of myself to everyone while I keep losing myself in silence. I have been treated like sh*t, but I still have to pretend that it was okay all along. I used to love doing good things for you until you started taking advantage of the love that I always showed to you. At first, I didn't notice how you wanted me to vanish. I stayed there for a long time, for a hope that you will acknowledge me somehow. That time I wanted to be found, to feel belonged- but in the end it just scarred me too much. I just can't force you to love me for who I am, and not according to what I can offer. I'm fine now, Knight, I realize that in order for me to find a safe place I should look for it even without you or anyone. Knight please tama na." Hindi ko na napigilan ang mga luha ko. Wala na akong pake kung makita niya ulit akong ganito.