Tw:SH, Suicide, abuse, fear
...
I'll die a writer. I'll never be known as a lover. As a friend. Not until I die and people make connections we didn't have. The ones they left behind. My name is M.W.. before I came to Teyvat I was called Sunniva. Sunniva Purin. When I came to Teyvat I saw it as something new. It made me stop self harm. I hadn't cut myself for three years. Until recently. This morning I broke my streak because it's not a streak if nobody else is counting. When I die and my body rotts I hope I'm fed to the crows because I always dreamed of being a bird. And you'll tell me stop. But stop or what. You'll hurt me? Like my mother and father did and his father before him? Or maybe how my brother did, pushing me off a cliff when I was 10. I should've died then I was so grateful I didn't. What's the point in praying to a God they'll take you when you pass when you never prayed to them before. Am I desperate? Am I scared? Tell me please. Am I scared of what I'm doing? Before Teyvat I died a god. I went through this once so I don't know why I'm scared for a second time. Is it because the first I didn't feel pain but I know when my body drops to the pavement and bounces off the cement I know I will? I don't know if I'm scared or not. But I know I'm doing this for the attention I so desperately want. And seeing that alike to the rare chances nobody is here. I should listen to what what Archons are saying. Goodbye.
YOU ARE READING
Writing Dump, Vent, Angst
AcakIt's only published so I feel heard, validated even if it doesn't get views it comforting al! the same!! I want to feel like I'm not some background character. Anyways I put trigger warnings but do tell if I need more.
