Lessons are meant to be taught
Heartbreak & trauma is what I brought
For love & respect is why I fought
Tethered by a ball & chain, I've been caught.
Past events in my life left me castrated
Scars on my heart left me emotionally constipated
There are many things I could have demonstrated
But my past kept me from my best so I became belated.
Instead of being me I became who they created
All I ever wanted was love and they left me frustrated
They had me thinking differently like love was outdated
And to drown out all the pain I resorted to being faded.
I don't want to be who they created, I want to be me
That's the true definition of living life free
I feel ashamed I blazed a trail of carnage behind me
I feel irredeemable, the residual is unsightly
In my heart I know this person isn't like me
He's a monster they created and he wants to overwrite me.
This was a long life battle with myself
So I had to reach out knowing I needed help
I went and picked my heart off the shelf
And put it back in my chest to recognize my wealth.
But the cost was I scarred someone dear to me
I was unresponsive to her pleas, that shit kills me
She wanted her love to be my remedy
But the cuts were too deep so she had to run from me
I knew for a long time I was my own worst enemy
That shadow held me dear so I lacked empathy.
But that's something that the past created
And all that bullshit they put me through is outdated
I went under the knife and they excavated the ice box
I held the keys to undo the fucking locks.
Something beats loud that must be my heart
Electric shock therapy to give it a kick start
So many things back then tried to tear me apart
But I realize now this is my blood art.
Rising from the grave like I am the undead
And when I bleed with the pen baby, it's all red
I prefer me over their monster instead
Because I'm not plagued with those nasty thoughts in my head.
But I need to apologize because she became a casualty
She is better than I because she opened my eyes to my deformity
I love her so much that it actually scares me
She's a good woman, I must treat her respectfully
She remains the love of my life because she accepted me for me.
YOU ARE READING
Days of Healing
PoetryI've decided to log my writing progress while I go through therapy to show how my growth is going. The for every day is to write and then post it here to keep track of everything.
