Echoes of torment: Billie Eilish

2

Billie

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I wake up abruptly, my messy hair falling into my face as I open my eyes. The clock reads 2:23 am. Great, another bout of insomnia. It seems like every time I manage to fall asleep, I end up waking in the middle of the night, unable to rest properly.

Reaching for my phone, I notice notifications from Liliana and Diamond. I check Diamond's message first; she has thanked me for driving her home once again. A small smile tugs at my lips, and I heart her message, knowing she's already fast asleep.

Next, I turn to Liliana's message, which was sent just five minutes ago. She asks if she can come over to talk. I hesitate, typing back that it's quite late. Her response is immediate-she insists she can climb through my window and promises to be quick. With a resigned sigh, I agree, God I hope this goes well.

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I hear a knock on my window, and I make my way over, I see Liliana sitting close to it she's wearing red plaid Pj pants with a black tank top. I open my window avoiding eye contact.

"Hey Bil" Liliana sits on the edge of my bed but I stay standing up.

"What do you want to talk about so late?" I look everywhere trembling at the sight of her.

"Billie I- I messed up okay I'm sorry, I can make it up to you" Liliana looks me up and down as she plays with her hands.

"I'm sorry but no, I can't I have to move on from you" I step back as she stands up.

Liliana's eyes narrow slightly as she senses my hesitation. "Bil, you know you can't live without me," she says softly, her voice dripping with a mix of sweetness and venom.

"Remember all those nights I stayed up with you, helping you through your darkest times? Who else is going to understand you like I do?"

She steps closer, her fingers lightly grazing my arm. "I made a mistake, but you know everyone does. Think about all the good times we've had. Are you really going to throw all that away because of one slip-up?" Her eyes lock onto mine, and I can see the gears turning in her head, calculating her next move.

"Besides," she continues, her voice dropping to a whisper, "who else would want you the way I do? You're not exactly easy to deal with, Bil. But I love you, flaws and all. Don't you see? We're perfect together, and you know it." Her words sting, and I feel a mix of anger and doubt bubbling up inside me.

I take a deep breath, trying to steady my emotions. "Liliana, you always do this. You twist things around to make me feel guilty or like I'm the one who can't do better. But this isn't about my flaws or who else might want me. It's about trust, and you broke it."

I step back, putting some distance between us. "You can't keep manipulating me into forgiving you. I need someone who respects me and our relationship, not someone who uses my vulnerabilities against me. You need to go, Liliana."

Liliana's eyes turn dark, something I've never seen before. She steps closer, and my back hits the wall. She presses her lips against mine with a force that leaves me squirming, trying to break free. My eyes widen in shock as she continues to kiss me, her hands gripping me tightly.

"Liliana, p-please stop," I cry out, my voice trembling.

"But baby, you like this," she murmurs, nibbling my neck.

"No, please stop, stop!" I plead, pulling my head back. She tightens her grip, holding both my arms in one hand while her other hand moves towards my pants.

"Liliana, don't," I warn, tears streaming down my face.

She steps back and smirks. "Fine but take me back."

My heart races, and I yell, "Get out! Get the fuck out, Liliana, get out!"

She rolls her eyes and says, "Just watch, Billie," before leaving my room. I collapse to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

What do I do.

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A couple of hours later, Chris came over. I haven't talked to him about what happened, so we're just playing Call of Duty on my PS5 right now.

My mom walks in and asks, "Hi my babies, you guys hungry? I can bake some cookies."

Chris smiles and jumps up from the couch, leaving me alone in the game. I'm about to get shitted on, bro.

"Hi Ms. O'Connell, and yes please," he says. He's so formal with parents, like he's known my mom for 13 years and still calls her 'Ms. O'Connell.'

"Okay, honey," she smiles, and Chris comes back to the couch as my mom kisses my temple.

I turn to Chris and start to mention Liliana, "Hey, Chris, about Liliana..."

He looks at me, his concern evident, "What's wrong?"

I hesitate, feeling a knot in my stomach. Just as I'm about to spill everything, Finneas bursts in, "Hey, I'm heading to Claudia's house. By the way, your phone's been blowing up upstairs."

I sigh deeply, nodding. "Alright, thanks. Bye, love you." I give him a quick hug, feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Turning back to Chris, he asks again, "What were you going to say?"

I bite my lip, trying to mask my worry. "She... she moved on, I guess," I say, forcing a shrug. I avoid his eyes and head upstairs to get my phone, feeling the weight of the unsaid words.

I finally look at my phone and see Diamond texted me, asking if I could come over because she's bored. I don't want to ruin her mood, so I'll try to be happy. I glance at Chris, and he nods knowingly. "How do you know?" I ask, curiosity piqued. He smiles, "I was looking at your phone. Go hang out with your 'friend,'" he says, using air quotes.

"We're nothing more, but she is fine. I just don't think I'm ready right now. Plus, I'm probably not her type, even though I'm so fine," I say with a forced laugh. Chris nudges my arm playfully. "I'm sleeping over tonight. Our mom said I can," he announced. I roll my eyes at his casual use of "our mom," but I don't mind; his mom passed away three years ago, and we've been like family ever since.

I give Chris a hug and head to inform my mom that I'll be going to Diamond's house. She tells me to drive safe and mentions that Dad will be home soon, so she'll let him know when he's back from work. With a mix of emotions swirling inside me, I brace myself to put on a happy face for Diamond.

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Upon arriving outside Diamond's residence, I maneuvered my vehicle into the driveway, feeling a blend of anticipation and trepidation. As I approach the door, I pause momentarily, gathering my resolve before tapping lightly.

"I'm coming!" I hear the rustle of movement within, and soon the door swings open, revealing a hazel-eyed girl whose smile radiates warmth. She envelops me in an embrace, and though initially hesitant, I reciprocate, feeling a comforting warmth until she withdraws.

"Hazel eyes, where are your parents?" I inquire as we ascend the stairs.

"They're on a business trip for like two months. They leave often, so I'm mostly alone," she responds, her frown betraying her loneliness as she settles onto her bed.

"Well, never fear, the one and only Billie is here!" I declare, raising one arm triumphantly and placing my other hand on my hip in a heroic stance. Her giggle is a delightful melody, and I smile, heartened by the sound, as I take a seat beside her.

(Um why did I just write so elegantly?)

I'm getting a bit tired so I'm gonna continue in the next chapter tomorrow maybe.