Nightingale

9

School took forever today granted I had class until four and my impending panic attack/breakdown didn't help either. Normally school was my happy place, my distraction from my crappy life, but for some reason I couldn't get how cold Grayson was this morning out of my head.

How does he go from cuddling me all night telling me he's all mine to being angry and snippy with me and why did he give me his hat if he was so mad at me? At least with Danny he was always the same with me, unless we were in public then he would always put on the doting boyfriend act and then beat me or worse when we got home.

Sometimes he wouldn't even wait until we got home the beating and degrading started when we got in the car. One time we went on a group date with his friends and he decided I was flirting with his best friend Drew because we were laughing and joking with each other. He drug me to the car bruising my wrist in the process, forcefully shoved me in the car making sure I hit my head on the way in and then to make me prove I was sorry and I wouldn't do it again he forced me to give him a blow job in the parking lot. I cried the whole way home and then was beat and raped as punishment for crying.

"Baby why are you crying? What happened?" Grayson asks wiping the tears I didn't know had fallen pulling me into his chest. It feels so good to be in his arms I feel so safe and protected, but then I remember I'm mad at him. I push him away walking around him but he grabs on to my arm pulling me back into him "what happened? Did someone do something? I swear I'll" "I'm fine, no one did anything" I say trying to break free of his grasp but he won't budge.

"Bullshit you're crying and I can smell your panic" what? "You can't smell panic" I say very confused "baby it's all over your face, what happened?" He says completely ignoring the previous comment "nothing happened, now if you'll excuse me I have school work to do" I tell him matter of factly trying to side step him again, but again he doesn't release me.

"Not until you tell me what's got you so upset" "people are staring" I tell him uncomfortable from all the eyes on us "I don't give a fuck" he tells me not breaking eye contact "Grayson" I plead quietly "what did I tell you you about calling me that?" He asks finally looking around and of course everyone immediately looks away when he looks at them. "I don't wanna call you Gray" I tell him looking down "why not?" He asks grabbing my chin tilting my face back up to his "because I'm mad at you" I mumble looking away again wishing to be anywhere else but here.

Taking a deep breath Grayson sighs before wrapping his arm around my waist tugging me with him "Grayson!" I practically yell almost falling on my face at the unexpected movement. To my utter shock and horror he picks me up and starts walking to his car "what are you doing?" I panic grabbing on to him for dear life burying my face in his neck when I see everyone staring again  "people are staring!" I scold into his neck "I don't care" he answers somehow holding me with one arm while opening the car door with the other.

I scoff rolling my eyes, of course he doesn't care, people just fall at his feet. "Don't roll your eyes at me baby" he tells me kissing my head hovering over me as he put me in the car "Grayson!" I huff a little warning to my tone as I swat his hands away, finally taking the hint he backs away and gets in the car. "I want to go to my room" I tell him crossing my arms over my chest glaring out the window.

"You're cute when you're demanding and pouty" he tells me with a grin on his face I just huff turning further away from him. The next thing I know his hand is on my leg his thumb rubbing soothing circles I shriek in surprise grabbing his arm but he just keeps doing what he's doing glancing at me out the side of his eye. "What are you doing?" I ask slightly alarmed "I'm not doing anything" he answers still rubbing my leg.

I tighten my grip on his arm Grayson sighs squeezing my leg lightly "you calm me, your presence, your scent, your touch. It all helps me relax, and after the day I've had I need it, I need you" he tells me honestly making my heart melt a little in the process, no one has ever said those things to me "and even though you won't admit it I calm you just as much as you calm me" he continues as if he were telling me the sky is blue "so please don't try and fight me or push me away or pull away" he pleads so gently sounding exhausted.