overdose on love

help me

TW: MENTIONS OF SELF HARM
Lotties pov:

I woke up to a massive headache, and i groaned as i rolled over, afraid if i move i will die from the pain. I drank way too much last night but i couldnt get those stupd thoughts out of my head. Ugh this is so hard.

I look down and i can see i have no jumper on, i quickly got up and got a jumper on. I cant let anyone see my scars, they will think im a right freak.

"Someone drank too much last night, hm?" It was Hallie and she was looking at me like i was some kind of fuck up. Great just what i need.

"Leave me alone Hallie, please." I basically beg her as my head is pounding.

"Hallie leave her alone, shes clearly not feeling great." Wait, wait, wait. That is not Beckie surley.

I look over and i see Beckie looking at Hallie with a stern expression, what the fuck?!

"Why are you defending her all of a sudden?" Hallie questioned, looking quite shocked.

She rolls her eyes. "She had too much to drink and she has a hangover just leave her alone."

Hallie putnher hands up in a mock surrender and chuckled. Whereas Beckie just shook her head and me i was still in shock. I think i stopped breathing for a second, i almost died of shock.

Beckie turns to me "Come with me."

I raise an eyebrow at her "I dont want to." I state.

"It wasnt a question." She says as she grips my hands and forces me up.

She takes me into the game room and nobodys in there so i look at her in confusion.

"You know if you wanted a quickie you couldve just asked." I say with a smirk forming on my face.

She looks at me horrified "Lottie shut your mouth right now i need to speak to you and you need to listen."

I give up the act "Alright then so what did you want to talk about."

She gives me a stern yet sympathetic look. I feel like my legs are jelly, what is happening to me?

"Lottie i saw your scars." She blurts out and my mouth practically drops to the floor.

I am too lost for words but and i dont even try to say anything because i know nothing will come out of me.

"Lottie whats wrong? Why are you doing that to yourself? Before you say anything i know were not the bestest of friends but you can talk to me about this, i wont judge, i promise."

I go pale and i feel light headed, what the fuck how the fuck did she find out. She had to be the one to find out didnt she for fuck sake, of course it had to be her. I stumble a bit and she holds my arm and gently puts me onto the couch.

I sit there thinking about what just happened, how the hell did she find out about my self harm?

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Beckies pov:

I look at her and i can see that shes on the verge of tears. I shouldnt have brought it up, i shouldve left it. No she needs help she cant be doing that i wont let her do it again.

"Why do you do it?" I ask in a serious tone but caring. She looked at me and she had tears in her eyes, i wanted to comfort her but i didnt. Im so stupid for not doing that, she looked like she needed it.

"My sister died and it was because of me." She says and it breaks my heart. She looks like shes on the berge of tears and i look away from her for a second to process the information. I know she said her sister was dead but i didnt think it was because of her.

"Why is it because of you Lottie?" I ask because u was genuinely confused as to how she couldve killed her own sister.

"She was with me when it happened, all because of a stupid man who shot her, fuck i can never get it out my head. She layed in my arms when she died staring at me and it broke my heart. I tried to save her i really did but she got shot in the liver they wouldnt of been able to save her even if we tried." She says and i listen to all the words she has to say because i feel bad now that ive asked her.

When i dont say anything she continues "My parents they turned to drugs and alcohol and i fear im turning out to be like them. I cant stand it Beckie seriously, i get flashbacks every night and i cant sleep without seeing her dead fucking face." Shes full on crying now and i dont know what to do, so i just wrap my arms around her and hold her close.

"Its not your fault, i promise its not, you didnt ask for her death okay?" She just wraps her arms around me and i give her a reasuring squeeze. She the just fully breaks down into my arms. What have i got myself into?

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sorry for the short chapter ive been trying to write ahead and ive been planning wjat to write thats why i havemt published in a while but i should be back at it soon.

sad chapter but its worth it because Lottie and Beckie are now closer than before keep reading to find out what happens next 😉😉