overdose on love

feelings

FLASHBACK ABUSE

Beckies pov:

I lied to Lottie about my feelings for her and to top it off i had to say i was straight. The only reason i even do this is because of my parents. Their rich, snobby homophobics, sums them up pretty well because they do no care about anyone but themselves.

When Lottie said she liked me when she was drunk, i didnt believe her at first but then she kissed me. That made my heart flutter a lot and we definitely went too far. I shouldnt of had sex with her but i lost control and i think she did too. We were both drunk, it was a mistake. Yeah a mistake.

I could never be with someone as smart as her anyways, or mentally unstable. Fuck i really need to stop with these thoughts.

I keep repeating the night in my head, more memories flooding my brain. She moaned my name. My name. I smirk when i realise she smirked my name. It rolled off her tounge quite well.

I look over at Lottie and shes asleep since its like 10 oclock right now. She sleeps mega early.

I watch as her face looks so calm and stress free from all the shit shes endured.

Ive never felt this way about someone as i do with her. Im thinking shes my weakness. Shes the one whos done this to me and its driving me insane to the point where all i do is think about her. I really do this im going insane and im such a pussy for not admitting my feelings towards her. She did it while she was drunk but im pretty sure she meant it. No she couldnt have. We were both drunk and she didnt mean anything she said. I didnt mean anything i said.

Ugh.

I close my eyes trying to block out the thoughts of Lottie. Lottie Lottie Lottie is all thats going through my brain.

I keep thinking about her until i finally fall asleep.

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Lotties pov:

FLASHBACK ABUSE

Im on my way home from school and i am walking with a fast pace so im not late. James offered me a ride but i dont want to take it since my house is a complete shit hole and its embarrassing for me.

Im walking down the sidewalk when i see my house come into view. It more like a abandoned building the way it looks on the outside. On the inside it even worse though.

I quietly walk up to the porch and i greet my dog, who im not surprised has been left outside all day with no food or water. I go to the hose outside and put some water in a bowl. Its not even a dog bowl its what i use for cereal. I dont have enough money to afford one and my parents wont give me any money because they hate me.

I place the bowl on the floor and he immediately start drinking it. Sorry buddy i promise you ill find you a better home as soon as i can. I grab some food from my backpack which James got me earlier and its just a ham sandwich. I tear a couple of pieces off and hand it to him letting him eat it. That should be good until tomorrow. I have another half so ill give that to him tomorrow instead of having it all now.

I take a deep breath before opening the door and i see my dad is passed out on the couch and my mother, well shes probably off getting high right now. I tip toe to my bedroom where its pretty much bare. The only thing in there is my bed and a small mirror next to it.

I go to my bed and i get my homework and stuff out. I check and its just English homework, shouldnt be too hard.

I get on with my homework and i sigh because i really cant be bothered. Its taking everything in me to just drop it and go to sleep.