overdose on love

back to school

DRUG USE
MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Lotties pov:

Finally im back at school after 2 days and im on suicidal watch and a ton of meds. They said i have depression and anxiety and have given me prescription drugs. Of course they said i could only take them with teachers in the room and they also didnt let me keep them on me because they think i will off myself....again.

It almost worked, only if Beckie never found me i wouldve been dead. I dont know how to feel about it, sad, happy. I dont know.

So im in my own room at the minute, its a shit one, it has a single bed with 1 drawer and a desk with a chair. The white walls make me insane and ive only been here for less than 2 hours. The white paint is peeling off the walls which makes this so much more enjoyable. The room is bland and the drawer and desk have writing and scratches all over it. This is one way to treat a mental patient.

I lay on the bed literally doing nothing as they took my phone off me and have also contacted my parents. They wont care, they didnt care the last time i did it so why would they care now. They wont even be able to get through to them, nevermind caring.

Suddenly someone knocks on the door and i go to open it only to reveal the one and only Beckie.

"Beckie im not in the mood please just leave me alone." I say, rubbing my temples.

"As much as i love you begging me, ive not come to annoy you so you can calm down." She says with a smug look. I really cant be bothered with her and ive only been here, what 4 weeks.

"Right so what did you come here for then, if you didnt come to annoy me about what happened then i dont know." I say still rubbing my temples from the massive headache im experiencing right now.

Her expression changes and i can see the hesitation in her eyes. "A-are you okay, like mentally?" My eyes grow wide, why would she care?

"Yeah im all good." I answer nonchalantly.

"I dont believe you." She says while crossing her arms while i just sigh.

"What do you want me to say Beckie, that im going to try again tonight, i already have teachers up my ass, i dont need you to join in as well." I say while rolling my eyes.

She clearly didnt like me rolling my eyes so she grabbed my waist and pinned me to the wall. My face flushes red and i get a weird feeling down there.

"Dont roll your eyes at me Lottie." She says in a rather intimidating tone, so i try to step back but obviously im pinned to the wall, with her hands on either side of my head.

"Fine just like move i dont like this, makes me feel as if your gonna kiss me." I say which totally throws her off gaurd and she drops her hands, stepping back in the process.

"Right sorry j-just talk to me alright, im here." She says and my eyes soften, i nod.

"Alright il talk but your not gonna like it." I say but ive told her pretty much everything about my life to be honest. Ive told her about my parents, my sister, how my parents treated me, theres one thing ive left out though which is the physical abuse.

"Just talk to me Lottie, thats all i ask." Her voice dropping from intimidating to a soft voice.

"My dad abuses me and my mum well she just kinda always sides with my dad. My dad kicked me out, which i already told you about. I have 2 friends back at home but my bestfriend is the better one. He knows i tried to commit last year and he saved me. I infact havent gotten better, ive gotten a lot worse. My dad physically abuses me, he punches me in the stomach and he also punches me in the face. Ive had to hide it all my life because ive heard what the foster care system does to kids and its not pretty. My sister died a couple of years ago and thats when things got tough, she died from someone shooting her in the street and no one helped except me. Thats why i fucking hate people, id rather stay on an island with dogs that stay on an island with humans. Thats all i can think of right now so if were done with this conversation, id like it if you left me alone for now." I say and im out of breath because that was a lot but it felt good to get it off my chest.