Celestial Bonds- The Crown's Judgment (Book 5)

Chapter 10: Shifting Alliances

Lyara

The council meeting had ended, and the room emptied as the advisors and guards departed. I stayed behind, staring out the window into the fading light. My mind was spinning with everything left unsaid and the conversation that loomed on the horizon. Kian's gaze had held so much when he approached me earlier—determination, conflict, a plea for understanding—and I was terrified of what he might say.

I turned away from the window, pacing the length of my chambers. My fingers nervously twisted the edge of my cloak, a habit I had developed in moments of distress. I had faced battles, negotiated alliances, and made decisions that affected thousands of lives. Yet, speaking to Kian made my heart pound with a fear I couldn't suppress. How could I be so weak? I was the Princess of Eltor, a leader meant to stand firm in adversity. And still, a single glance from him threatened to unravel every ounce of composure I had worked so hard to build.

The room felt smaller with each step I took. My thoughts were a whirlwind of what-ifs and regrets. The bond I shared with Kian was undeniable, something that had grown stronger over the years despite all the political games and the looming threat of war. But where did that leave Jax? The memory of his quiet suffering haunted me. Every time he saw Kian and me together, I could see the pain etched on his face, a pain I had caused.

I had hurt him, and I knew it. Jax had always been my rock, my constant in the ever-shifting sands of court politics and alliances. But now, I was caught in a web of emotions I couldn't escape. No matter how hard I tried to focus on my duty to Eltor, my thoughts always drifted back to Kian. That betrayal gnawed at me, a festering wound that refused to heal. I despised myself for allowing my personal feelings to bleed into my leadership responsibilities.

"Kian," I muttered to the empty room, his name a bitter reminder of the chaos inside me. I had to confront him, to lay bare the truth we had both kept hidden for far too long. But how? How did I speak of love and longing when my duty demanded that I bury such emotions beneath a façade of strength and control?

I stopped pacing, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I needed to pull myself together. Whatever lay between Kian and me had to be addressed. This wasn't just about my feelings—it was about the future of Eltor and the fragile alliances we had built. I couldn't let my kingdom crumble under the weight of my indecision.

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, seeing the strain on my face. This was not the woman I wanted to be—a leader paralyzed by her emotions, torn between love and duty. I needed the strength to face whatever was coming, confront Kian, and uncover the truth between us. The stakes were too high to let fear control me.

As I stared at myself, a flicker of anger surged through me—anger at my cowardice and how I had let things spiral out of control. I had always prided myself on being a ruler who could set aside personal desires for the greater good, yet here I was, tangled in a mess of my own making. It was time to take back control, to step forward and face the storm head-on.

Jax's face flashed through my mind once more. He had been by my side for so long, bearing the brunt of my indecision with a patience that tore at my heart. How long would he continue to endure this? How long before I shattered everything we had built between us?

I had to make things right. If not for myself, then for those who had stood by me, trusting me to lead. With one last look at my reflection, I set my jaw and squared my shoulders. I couldn't change the past, but I face the present with honesty and resolve.

Stepping away from the mirror, I crossed the room to the door. My hand paused on the handle, a final moment of hesitation washing over me. I took a deep breath, forcing down the rising tide of anxiety. I had to face this. There was no turning back now.

Kian was waiting, and we had a truth to confront—one that could shatter everything or pave the way for something new. It was time to face whatever lay ahead and strip away the masks we had worn for so long. And as much as I feared what was to come, I knew it was the only way forward.

I pulled the door open, stepping out into the hallway, where the air felt cooler and sharper. It was a reminder of the reality I was about to face. Kian was out there, perhaps grappling with the same uncertainties that weighed on me. But we couldn't keep running from this. We owed it to ourselves, Eltor, and everyone caught in the web of our choices.

With each step, my resolve hardened. This wasn't just about my desires or my pain. It was about finding a path that would ensure the future of my kingdom—and, perhaps, finding some semblance of peace in the process.

As I approached the council room where I knew Kian waited, I paused momentarily, gathering my thoughts and courage. Then, with a final, steadying breath, I pushed the door open and stepped inside. Kian turned to face me, his expression a mixture of apprehension and determination. It was time.

We were about to face the truth that had hung between us for so long, and it would change everything.

I took another deep breath, feeling the weight of the silence between us. Kian's eyes bore into mine, and for a moment, I wanted to retreat, to push this confrontation aside. But I couldn't. The truth we were facing was unavoidable and demanded to be spoken aloud.

"Kian, we need to—"

A knock sounded at the door, interrupting the words I had barely managed to start. I glanced at Kian, whose jaw tightened as he turned toward the interruption. A council member entered, bowing slightly before clearing his throat.

"My apologies, Your Highness," he said, his eyes shifting between Kian and me. "We have a situation on the northern front that requires immediate attention."

I nodded, a mixture of relief and frustration welling up inside me. The conversation would have to wait yet again. "Very well," I replied, forcing my voice to steady. "We will address it immediately."

As the council member left, I met Kian's gaze, a silent understanding passing between us. This was not over. We would face this conversation soon, whether we were ready or not.

"Later," I murmured, turning away. Feeling his eyes on my back as I walked out of the room, I forced my thoughts to shift to the imminent issue at the northern front, pushing down the storm within me. There would be time to confront our truths—but not now.