Wanna Be Saved

- TWENTY TWO -

Chapter Twenty Two
Future Chaser 

Bronwyn had hoped, part of her had desired, that following the first courting gift she would receive another from Blaise rather quickly. But as the days turned into weeks, she feared that maybe she had read a little too much into the situation. Especially considering that things had barely changed between them in the time since he had gifted her still one of her most beloved gifts of all time. Maybe they had become a little more touchy, but if she thought too much into it, Bronwyn could write the touches off as something two close friends did. 

"You're distracted." Blaise's words would drag her away from her own thoughts and back to the study session the pair were supposed to be having. The book laid in front of her was finally from their own year worth of charms study. The only issue was that they were stuck in the initial pages of the book. It had taken a lot of work to get to being at the right year, the study session meetings had gone from weekly to twice weekly to three or four times a week just for the chance that Bronwyn might just catch up in time for the exams in a few months time. Yet now they were finally at fifth year level work Bronwyn just could not seem to wrap her head around the material being presented to her. 

Perhaps it was because she had found herself spending a lot of her time inside of her own head. Especially since she had gone from feeling such joy at finally understanding the last spell of the fourth year workload to no longer understanding any of the fifth year course load. And now she had hit that moment in her spiralling self hatred when she was starting to think that there wasn't a topic at school she would say she was actually any good at. Potions was initially made difficult by the clear hatred of her school house the teacher had, and she had just started to switch off because of his attitude. It then got harder because Bronwyn just couldn't read the steps correctly and would often get ingredients the wrong way round. Charms was clearly not her fortay. Herbology was okay, she really tried in that subject but she had no passion for what she was learning and therefore her grades fell because of it. Defence was a subject she knew she couldn't thrive in, there was no chance that she was going to be any better in it than the boy who lived. And because she had to have lower grades than Harry she didn't even bother trying that much. Care of Magical Creatures was Charlie's thing and she would not allow herself to be in her brother's shadow so that was ruled out. 

Transfiguration was possibly Bronwyn's best subject when she thought about it. The subject didn't come easy to her, no subjects seem to come easy to her. But she found herself understanding the subject more. Perhaps it was the way it was taught to her, maybe it was because she didn't have to be better, or not better than anyone in that subject. But Bronwyn had to admit she was not academically inclined at all. She might have been the odd one out of her siblings in that manner, just because Fred and George put no effort into their studies did not mean the pair were not academically impressive they just had a focus outside of academics. Often leading her to wondering just where she was going to end up after finishing school.

This spiral had been brought on by her recent meeting with Professor McGonagall. It was supposed to help the students identify which subjects they needed good grades on and to continue after their OWL year to get the career they wanted. Yet in Bronwyn's career counselling session she soon worked out that she had no clue where she was heading after school. There was no job which really jumped out at her. She did not want to be an Auror like some people believed, actually she couldn't think of anything worse than that job. She wouldn't want to teach, she hated teenagers. At this rate she would end up being sat in a comically empty living room at 50 wondering where her life had gone, what she had got out of it and wishing she had made better choices when she was younger.

"Raven" Perhaps Blaise's words were not enough to draw her full attention as Bronwyn couldn't find herself to care much about school work in that moment. Not know she had realised she had no life plans. Sure she was only just fifteen but she really felt like she should at least have some idea of what she wanted to do. If she spoke to her friends they had at least had an idea or two of what they wanted to do in the future. Sure Lavender's was just to marry well so she didn't have to do anything. But that was at least a plan. Bronwyn couldn't even think of something in the future, her brain pulled a blank. And she pondered if she was having a premature quarter life crisis. 

A hand upon her shoulder shaking her was enough to finally fully snap Bronwyn from her thoughts. She would notice that the quill she had been using to make minimal notes with had dripped ink upon the piece of parchment she had been using. Noting that the tiny amount of words that were once upon the page were difficult to tell from the large ink dots. She sighed having finally noticed what had occurred whilst she was stuck in her own head.

"This isn't going anywhere." Bronwyn mumbled but it was loud enough for her accomplice to hear and Blaise turned his full attention onto her, something he would deny she had the entire time they had been sat in the library. 

"What's got that brain of your's so caught up?"

"What are your plans for the future?" Bronwyn questioned back wondering if he had an idea of what he wanted to do, unsure if hearing his answer would make her feel better or not. 

"Ideally, I want to finish school, get together with this amazing witch I've met. Who knows maybe open a book store." Blaise spoke rather nonchalantly about his plans for the future and Bronwyn looked at him for a moment. Wondering if those were his real plans or not. 

"Really?" Bronwyn questioned. 

"Well sure, I'm not really settled on exactly what I want to do. Well there's a few things that I truly know I want but other than that no." Blaise shrugged.

"Is there anything you do know you want?" Blaise asked Bronwyn already gathering just why she had asked him what he wanted to do in the future.

"Maybe one thing." Bronwyn couldn't help her response as she looked at him, part of her hoping that he would get the hint but also unsure what his reception would be if he did at the same time. 

"Glad we're on the same page about that." Blaise added before turning his attention back to the book he was once reading. "Now please try to concentrate just for a little longer. If you can finish this chapter we can go and get something from the kitchens." 

Once down in the kitchen Bronwyn found herself content in the further quiet it brought. Sure the library was quiet in the manner which you had to be before the librarian Ms Prince told you off. But the amount of people who were in the library no matter what time of day it was, it made it feel loud. Loud and crowded and Bronwyn still really didn't like the large crowds. She felt the impossible urge to be perfect when around all those people something she knew she couldn't be. She could feel the stress in her shoulders decreasing and her body relaxing when it was only the two of them, and the house elves who were working but they generally kept their distance. 

"You feeling better now beautiful?" Bronwyn only nodded in response she itched to reach over the table between them and hold the hand he had placed upon there. She remained sitting still for a while, trying desperately to fight off the urge which was taking full control. And after sitting there long enough, she reached her now scarred hand over the table placing it upon the one he had there. It was finally time for her to be bold. She waited with bated breath as she prepared for him to react. He could either remove his hand quickly or leave it and she hoped it would be the latter response. Blaise only smiled at her and kept his hand where it was not pulling it away from her outstretched hand. 

"My birthday is soon, I'm doing something with my brothers in the morning, and the girls later in the afternoon. would you like to do something for dinner?" Bronwyn proposed continuing the bold sensation she was feeling throughout the conversation. 

"Hmm, or I could have you all to myself the day after?" Blaise counter offered "It's a Saturday you'll be mine right after breakfast." 

"I suppose I can't argue with that." Bronwyn confirmed.