Keep Your Eyes Open

Hard-core Training

I was incredibly under nourished and below the average weight class, which raised a multitude of questions.

Why are you so under weight? What happened?

I didn't feel like I needed to answer them, I just told them I hadn't been feeling all too well. Their answer to that was then maybe you shouldn't be fighting. I had been fighting for all too long, and I wasn't going to give up then. 

We were inducted into the training course shortly after the meeting with Mr Ford. Only about ten others were already training. They gave us PT kit, which strangely resembled that of the training outfits from the Hunger Games. I didn't like it. It was all too militarised for my liking, it didn't seem natural in the slightest.

The training was gruelling, especially for someone who had been doing fuck all for the past few months. The endurance training was made easier to suit my needs. But I showed them I at least knew how to shoot various different fire arms well. I knew which part of the team I would be.

We never got to meet the others. I didn't want to. They were all older than us, and had growls for smiles.  I was not looking forward to working with them, and I definitely did not trust them with my life.

After the first couple days of training I was emotionally and physically drained. I just wanted to get out there and finish the rest of the zombies off. Whilst I was running on the treadmill, with a trainer shouting 'encouragements' at me, I started to wonder where we would go next. After everything was done, where we would go. Would we be sent off to orphanages, or whether we'll be sent off to any living relatives we may have. I knew I didn't want to be separated from Harri, that was an obvious given.

The loud smack of my knee hitting the side of the treadmill hit my ears before I realised I had actually fallen.

"What the hell is wrong with you! Get up, I'm adding five miles to your run." I hated my trainer. He wasn't very nice to me. I could tell he wouldn't like me from the minute I saw him. He had a rough beard and cold blue eyes. His body looked like that of a rugby player. Everyone else got vaguely nice ones, and of course it was I who got stuck with the hardest one.

"I need a break," I stared at him and crossed my arms defiantly. "I can't keep doing this mate, I can't feel my legs as it is!"

"You get ten minutes." His jaw muscles kept tensing as he walked angrily away from me. Everyone else was still running happily on their little treadmills made of rainbows. I collapsed on the nearest bench and chugged water.

"I hate this so much," I muttered to myself. The entire gym had no windows or mirrors, just the plain grey cement block that was apparently used to build the entire headquarters. Apart from the meeting room, which had it's walls painted white and pictures hung on it. Harri came over to me to check if I was alright. "No. Pretty sure my legs have snapped."

"Here, let me stretch them for you..." I swung my legs onto his lap and propped myself up on my elbows. He carefully stretched them out, all the while checking to make sure I wasn't in any more pain.

"Harri, what do you think will happen afterwards?" I asked him quietly. He was silent for a few minutes, and for a few seconds I thought he hadn't heard me.

"I don't know. But I do know that I want you to be safe. And I want you to be alive and to be able to live out the rest of your life normally."

"Well, as normal as it can be," I replied. "Where will we all go?"

"I'm afraid I'm the wrong person to ask," he answered, care evident in his voice. He finished stretching my legs out in silence.

"Are you done for today?" He nodded.

"Are you?" He asked, standing up.

"Unfortunately not..."

"I'll wait for you," he said, holding out his hand to help me stand up. 

"You might be awhile," My eyes darted to the door that just opened, revealing my trainer who did not look impressed.

"I'll wait," he whispered, before kissing my cheek softly and walking over to the mats to do some sit ups.

"Your little boyfriend is a lot fitter than you are," my trainer growled.

"Yeah, cheers for that. Let's just get this over with."

"Eight more miles to run." The dread was long gone, it was only filled with exhaustion. I think I may be ready to do this hunt, but they need to give us a little bit of a break beforehand. Otherwise I won't be able to move at all.

---

"You're done," my trainer hit the top of the treadmill and I hopped down. He stalked off as I nearly collapsed again. Everyone else had presumably gone back to the dorm.

"Harri!" I moaned. "Can you carry me please?" Harri just shook his head, but picked me up in a fireman's lift anyway.

"I heard someone saying that the hunt is in two days time. We don't have PT tomorrow or the day after, but we have woodland skills and all that jazz. To know what to do if separated from everyone else- Look, Taby, I need to put you down. I am exhausted too you know." I reluctantly got off his shoulder and continued to stumble along the corridor, trying not to faint.

"I just want this all to be over. I wish it never happened in the first place to be honest."

"We can't help the past," Harri replied, taking my hand in his. "But we're both safe and that's what matters." He squeezed my hand and I gave him a faint smile.

"Thanks for helping me through everything, by the way. I haven't been the easiest," I turned my head away, almost in shame.

"Nah, I wanted to make sure you were alright to be honest. I was more worried than anything else."

He was too sweet to me, he didn't deserve this kind of life. I just wish that afterwards he is able to be happy again.

We reached the dorm, and someone was already in the shower. Vaseva was perched on the bed and drying her hair, whilst Lennon and Prasan were collapsed in their top bunks, talking to each other. I was lucky my bed was close to the door and the bottom bunk, and as soon as I sat down I threw my trainers off. My socks were disgusting, and what I smelt like was exactly pleasant either. I went into the shower after Rhys came out, and it felt so nice to have all the grime and sweat washed away.

Dinner was served in our dorm that night, for reasons undisclosed. But I was slightly glad I didn't have to trudge all the way to the dining room and back again.

That night, I crept into Harri's bed and cuddled with him. I was having those dreams again, the dreams where I see my family as zombies again. The dreams where I see all of my friends die a horrible death.

I didn't like those dreams. They terrified me.

I could tell he wasn't fully awake when I snuggled next to him, but I don't think he minded. He put his arm around me. After a while I actually managed to fall asleep.