Just One

Chapters 12 and 13

Chapter – 12 ANNA: "Give it time."

As soon as Nick and Cass left the house, I felt an immense sense of relief. My mother noticed that I was acting disguised and wanted to understand what was going on in my mind, but I couldn't explain it myself.

I spent the rest of Sunday feeling distressed, thinking about a thousand things at once, meditating, and seeking answers in my inner self. However, there were so many voices I heard that I couldn't discern who my true self really was inside me.

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At the beginning of the week, I tried to avoid meeting Nick and Cass in person, interacting only by messaging. Cass was still showing her need for Nick as he said he was looking for the right time to break up with her. I managed to postpone my conversation with Nick until 2 pm on Wednesday.

When I got home after school and opened the front door, my mother warned me that Nick was waiting for me. "Nick's out in the backyard waiting for you," she says.

Surprised, I say quietly: "Hmm, I didn't even see his car outside."

My mother explains: "He arrived on his bike, and he looks tense. Did you guys have a fight?"

"No... yet," I mutter and head towards the backyard.

I approach him casually, in my usual way, joking and chatting, but he doesn't buy it and knows I'm just masking my behavior. Bluntly, he starts talking:

"Can we talk now? If you haven't eaten yet, I'll wait, but I'm not leaving here today without us having a conversation."

"Jesus, Nick, what's wrong? What happened?" I still insist on pretending that everything is fine.

"If you're not going to eat, then sit here." He taps his hand on the seat of the lounger he's sitting on.

I consider getting something to eat to save time, but my appetite is completely gone. Just thinking about food makes me nauseous. I decide to face the situation head-on and sit down beside him. I remain silent, looking down, waiting for him to start speaking.

Nick turns his body towards me and begins to question me: "Why have you been avoiding me? Were you upset on Sunday, with what happened here, with Cass's manner, with my reaction? There's no point in denying it, I know you."

Without hesitation, I turn my body so that we can talk face to face and begin to pour my heart out: "Nick, I'm not upset with you or Cass. I'm upset with myself. I feel guilty about receiving your letter and not being able to say a single word to you. I feel guilty for knowing about your feelings for me and pretending that nothing is happening to Zack and Cass. I'm feeling bad because I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to see you unhappy, and I don't know what to do to fix all this. I shouldn't even have introduced you to Cass or invented you as my cousin. Everything that starts with lies goes wrong. Look what a mess I've created."

Nick remains silent, looking down, thoughtfully absorbing everything I've just poured out. Tears begin to stream down my cheeks.

After a few minutes, Nick calmly picks up the conversation: "Anna, we both made mistakes. I made a mistake by getting involved with Cass at the party. Cass is a beautiful girl, but I stayed with her to console myself. When I saw you and Zack together, I felt lost, all my hopes of being with you that night had gone down the drain. I even thought I might be really interested in Cass, but the more we got close, the more attracted I became to you. I'm sorry for falling in love with you and causing you this emotional turmoil."

Every sentence intensifies my anguish even more.

Nick continues: "I've made up my mind, I'm going to break up with Cass. I won't say anything about you or deny being your cousin, because, in truth, cousins by heart don't exist. You've always made it clear from the beginning that you only want my friendship, and I didn't want to understand. I don't regret sending you that letter, because I was sincere. You'll always have my friendship; you'll always be able to count on me. Let's start fixing things gradually and everything will work out."