Just One

Chapters 16 and 17

Chapter – 16 ANNA: "And love does that, but friendship doesn't."

Nick left for the party, but his confident expression in that elegant, tailored black tuxedo, which fits his shoulders perfectly, and his impeccable posture, contrasting with the sparkle of his blue eyes, remain clear and pulsating in my mind and body.

Upon entering the house, Bea immediately begins her anti-Zack speech: "Holy shit, Anna, how can you let a guy like that, who's in love with you, gorgeous, hot, slip away? Even worse, you hand him over to your friend on a silver platter. If you don't want him, then give him to me. Dude, he's a thousand times better than Zack." Bea enlarges the photo she took of Nick and brings it close to my face, saying: "Anna, look at this, please. Stop being stupid, silly. You're here and Zack's there, enjoying his party and who knows with whom. And you're skipping the party just not to bother the sweet couple? Fuck Cass."

"Beatrice, less. Watch your language and leave your sister alone." My mother catches Bea's eye.

"Shut up, Bea. You don't know anything. Leave me alone, please," I reply to Bea with a lot of irritation, especially since I know she's right in some of what she says.

Bea leaves the room, and I, mesmerized by the selfie I just took with Nick, throw myself on the couch, wandering in my thoughts, where I can only remember his hands sliding down my back, his tight embrace, and the split-second moment where we almost kissed. Damn it, I should have let it happen. My sister is right. Fuck Zack, fuck Cass. "I should have kissed him and allowed him to fulfill his deepest desires." How stupid! What a fuck!

Tears start streaming down my face, and I immediately try to cover them up so that my mother doesn't notice. I know she's watching me too, restraining herself from saying the same things my sister had said to me, but in a polite way.

When I see the first photo of Cass and Nick together on Facebook, I jump off the couch and head towards my bedroom without looking around. As I close the door, I experience the worst feelings anyone can feel: a mixture of anger, jealousy, envy, and regret. They are unbearably beautiful. While I angrily look at the photos, I realize that Cass is not to blame for anything, just like Nick. They are where they are because of me. I contributed to this reality happening. The happiness on Cass's face is evident. Even though Nick and I had almost kissed, he also seemed happy and confident. I know Nick loves me but seeing him holding hands with Cass and her family in the same photo sends shivers down my spine. Everyone there, side by side, looks like the ideal family. The perfect setting recreating the image of happiness gives me a feeling of failure and loss.

I don't know exactly how I feel about Nick, whether it's love or friendship. Today, I'd say it's more like love because I've never wanted to kiss him so much. The only thing I'm sure of is that I like him so much that I don't want to hurt him or see him suffer. And love does that, but friendship doesn't.

The question remains in my mind: if Zack and I were at the party with them, would I still be feeling this way?

©©©

I wake up to the insistent sound of my phone in my ears and notice that it's Zack's third attempt to get in touch. However, I'm still not ready to talk to him. I feel hurt.

Realizing it's already noon, I decide to get out of bed. My mother is busy preparing lunch while I'm still looking for a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, Anna, I mean, good afternoon. Did you sleep well?" My mother asks.

"Yes, I just woke up because my cell phone rang," I reply, still sleepy.

"It was Zack, wasn't it? He called my cell phone to see if you'd woken up yet. He messes up and then rushes back to make amends," says my mother, tired of this situation.