If My Dad Was Batman: A SpongeBob Fanfiction

Chapter Twelve

The ball flies to Benjamin. He quickly kicks it back over the net. Goku hits it but gets it out of bounds. “Oh, bloody heck!” exclaims Goku. “Another point to us,” I say. “Great job, Corbin! I love you!” my father, Batman, says, giving me a hug. SpongeBob looks over and says, “Hey, guys, we might wanna get inside before something scary happens since it's almost night time.”

We all start heading inside. I'm the last to go in and I hesitate to close the door. I look around before I even think about closing the door. I have a feeling I'm being watched. “Close the door! You'll let the clams in!” shouts Buzz. I take one last look outside before closing the door.

“Goodnight everyone!” I shout. We all go to bed.
Suddenly, we're awoken by a loud knock. I go out to the living room to see a square skeleton outside. It looks like something out of a blocky video game. It puts on a sombrero and breaks the window open with its bow. It shoots an arrow at me, hitting my shoulder. I pull the arrow out slowly. “Is that all you got?” I ask, throwing a batarang at the skeleton. It hits its spine, causing it to fall apart right there.

“What's going on?” asks Buzz. “We've got company!” I shout. “Corbin, you're bleeding!” my father, Batman, calls out. “I'll be fine,” I responded. A blue platypus rushes in. “A platypus?” I ask. The platypus puts on a fedora. “Perry the platypus!” shouts Buzz. “Y'all took something that belongs to my boss,” says Perry in his Boston accent. “We're not giving you the painting,” says my father, Batman. “What painting?” asks Perry.

“I'm 40% painting!” shouts Bender. “Are you here to cause trouble?” I ask. “I'm 40% trouble! And 60% double!” Bender responds, pulling out a chainsaw. Suddenly, a cowboy falls in through the roof. He screams as he hits the ground. He stands up, pulling out his cattleman revolver. Buzz looks at him with a hint of recognition on his face. “John?” asks Buzz. “Buzz?” asks John. He lowers his revolver slightly.

Suddenly, dynamite goes off, causing a wall of the trailer to fall. Dutch van der Linde rides in on a scrawny brown horse. “I ain't looking for no painting, you fools! I'm looking for my horse!” he shouts, pointing at Benjamin. Benjamin growls at him. “He's ours now! And he prefers it that way!” I shout. “He was better off when I had him, and he knows it!” Dutch yells. My father, Batman, looks over at Dutch and screams, “Like anyone under your control is better!”

Dutch fires his water gun. It hits my father, Batman, causing him to collapse. “Dad!” I shout. I rushed at Dutch, throwing a punch at him. I knocked his tooth out. “My tooth!” shouts Dutch. John Marston kicks me, sending me flying away from Dutch. Goku bursts in, breaking the skeleton with a sombrero just as it was about to repair itself. Its arms, which are still intact, shoot an arrow at Buzz, but it misses, hitting Bender.

“I'm 40% hurt,” says Bender. John Marston aims his gun at me. “John! No!” shouts Buzz. John looks over at Buzz with his gun still aimed at me. John speaks softly, saying, “Partner, why are you here?” “I'm taking down the company, John,” answers Buzz. “Do you need this kid's help?” John asks. Buzz nods quickly. John lowers his gun, muttering something about respecting Buzz. We all slowly stand up and put our hands to our sides.

“Benjamin, my boy, my favorite son, please come back to me,” Dutch begs. “Dutch, I can't.” Benjamin neighs. “Why not?” asks Dutch. Benjamin looks down before speaking softly, saying, “Because we just don't work well together. I mean, you lie so much. You always said you have a plan but you always just misled me. It's not that I don't miss us, or what we were. It's that the people I have now are my family.“

It's clear that Benjamin is hurt due to Dutch's constant lies. I fully understand where he is coming from because it reminds me of a certain someone. And if that person is out there somewhere, I would like to thank you for showing me WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HURT! AFTER EVERYTHING I GAVE YOU, YOU STILL KEPT GETTING WORSE IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET ME TO BREAK UP WITH YOU! You were too much of a COWARD to break up with me yourself. You just HAD to make ME the bad guy. Then the NERVE ON YOU TO LIE ABOUT ME AFTERWARDS. Yes, I did some things wrong. You want to know why I don't apologize? BECAUSE I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK WITH YOU AGAIN! I despise you for EVERYTHING you put me through! “You couldn't pay me to eat that!” says Mr. Garrison. “You know what you couldn't pay her to do? TELL THE TRUTH!” I scream.

“Benjamin, I know what I did, and I'm sorry. I just don't want you to cut me off entirely. Do you think we can be friends?” asks Dutch. “I'm 40% friends!” shouts Bender. Benjamin sighs as if to say, “I'll think about it.” My father, Batman, steps forward. “There's only one way to handle this,” he says, “a game of volleyball!”

We've been practicing almost every morning, so we're prepared. We have Benjamin keep the score and wake SpongeBob up to join us. The game starts.
Dutch serves the ball, sending it right to me. It hit it back, causing John Marston to hit it. Buzz quickly hits it with his tail, causing it to fly at the skeleton. The skeleton falls apart, but still hits it to Bender. “I'm 40% going to win!” shouts Bender as he hits it over. SpongeBob nearly misses it, but manages to launch it to my father, Batman. He quickly does a big jump and spikes it to the other side. Dutch lunges for it but misses. It hits the sand with a thud.

“No!” Dutch screams. “We won!” I shout proudly. We start dancing as we walk back to the house. Benjamin looks back. Dutch is crying. “Benjamin, come on,” I whisper, “he'll be okay.” Benjamin refuses to come inside and rushes over to Dutch, giving him a big hug.
“I can't forgive you for what you did, but I can't forget that the only reason I'm here today is because of you,” Benjamin mutters. “Oh, Count, if you even remember that name… I've been such a fool. Do you think we can still hang out?” Dutch asks. “Yes, of course,” neighs Benjamin softly.

We agree on visiting hours and from that day forward all of us start being excited for the visits from Dutch’s gang. Buzz and John seem to get along well, as if they have a past together. Dutch and Benjamin talk like old friends, and it's refreshing. Even my father, Batman, seems close with Dutch despite their rough past. And I'm perfectly happy with how things turned out. For a moment I forgot about the painting and Spiderman. For a moment, I was at peace. Peace I hadn't felt since being in Gotham.

Another difference between Bikini Bottom and Gotham would have to be the fall breeze. Despite Gotham’s usual issues, the fall breeze always brought a calming scene with it. But here in Bikini Bottom, as the month changed to October, the skies grew dark. And if you took a moment to breathe, you could smell what appeared to be something rotting.

Lord have mercy, for we soon find out what you could pay them to eat…