Crowns And Shadows (MXM) (Book 1)

XVIII: Chaos

Rowan

My heart raced as I took a cautious step toward the tree line, the urge to confront my feelings battling with my better judgment.

What if he wasn't even going to be there? But what if he was? What would I say to him?

As I crossed the threshold into the trees, the air shifted around me, growing cooler and more electric. The sound of the flowing river was soothing. I could hear the distant notes of a flute and it granted me surety that he was definitely there. The pace of my heart spiked at the thought of this man earnestly waiting for me to come find him.

I moved silently, straining to catch the sound of the flute as it danced through the underbrush. The anticipation hung thick, and I could feel my pulse quicken with every rustle of the leaves.

Then, as I turned into the stream, I caught sight of him. His figure stood among the trees, his back to me, the flute resting against his lips as he played. The notes wove through the air like a spell, drawing me in further. I paused, entranced by the way he lost himself in the music, the tension in my chest giving way to a strange longing.

But the moment I stepped on a twig, the soft crack resonated through the stillness, and he turned, the music dying instantly. Our eyes met, and I felt that familiar rush of emotions-irritation, desire, confusion. He regarded me with an intensity that made my heart race.

"Well, if it isn't the prince himself," he said, his voice smooth and teasing. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't come."

I took a step closer, unwilling to hide the anger that bubbled beneath the surface. "Why are you here?" I demanded, trying to sound authoritative, though my voice wavered slightly.

He smirked, tilting his head as if considering my question. "Isn't it obvious? I come here to sit, to relax and to talk to the fishes and the birds." He took a step toward me, closing the distance. "Just like you do."

I hated that he could see through me, that he could read the turmoil behind my bravado. "You shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here. This-this is madness."

"Madness can be freeing," he replied, his voice low, eyes glinting with mischief. "You feel it, don't you? Well so do I. The thrill of stepping outside the lines we had set for ourselves? It's thrilling."

His words hung in the air, challenging me. I wanted to deny it, to push him away and return to the sanity of my castle, but something deeper stirred within me. I took a breath, the scent of pine and earth grounding me, but it did little to quell the tempest inside.

"Why did you kiss me?" I blurted out, unable to hold back the question any longer. It slipped from my lips before I could think better of it, and the moment it was out, I felt vulnerable, exposed.

His expression shifted, the playful smirk faltering for just a heartbeat. "Because why not?" he replied, stepping closer, his gaze unwavering.

"And what do you gain from this?" I shot back, my voice thick with tension. "You're supposed to hate me just as much as I hate you. You should want nothing more than to see my downfall."

"Perhaps I'm doing both," he said, a flicker of something darker crossing his features. "But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the chaos."

I swallowed hard, the implications of his words crashing over me like waves. The thrill of our shared chaos was intoxicating, but it was also dangerous. I couldn't afford to lose myself in this.

But as I stood there, staring into his dark eyes, I felt the walls I had built around my emotions begin to crumble. The longing I had fought so hard to suppress surged forth, challenging everything I had ever known.

"Rowan," he said softly, and the way he spoke my name sent a shiver down my spine.

I shook my head, fighting against the pull he had on me. "This isn't a game that you can just play and forfeit."

"Then let's make it something more," he said, stepping even closer, his breath warm against my skin. "Embrace the chaos with me."

For a moment, I was paralyzed, caught in the gravity of his words. The thrill of the unknown beckoned, and I felt my resolve wavering. But deep down, I knew the danger of what lay ahead. The dangers of letting your heart take the lead. What if I could never go back?

As the shadows closed in around us, I was left standing at a crossroads, torn between desire and sensibility. But it was safe to say that this man had made me lose all my senses. Those days had felt empty without me feeling of his eyes on me. There was no other way but to describe it other than pure chaos.

The forest whispered secrets, and I had to decide whether to plunge into his darkness or retreat to the light.