Crowns And Shadows (MXM) (Book 1)

XXXV: Self-exploration (M)

This chapter contains mature content. ⚠️

Hyacinth

As the sun set outside my window, casting a warm golden light across my room, I sat on the edge of my bed, my thoughts swirling like the colors in the sky. The familiar scent of lavender filled the air as I picked up my brush and began to work it through my hair. Each stroke was a small act of normalcy, a way to calm the racing thoughts that often consumed me.

With every pass of the brush, I felt the weight of the day's worries lift just a little. I longed for a sense of peace, to drown out the expectations and pressures that lingered in the corners of my mind. My fingers tangled in the strands as I contemplated the events of the past weeks; my time with Prince Rowan, the whispers of marriage that seemed to grow louder with each passing day, princess Aria, the shocking turn of events during the confessions that both Rowan and I had been seeing other people...

Just then, the door creaked open, and my mother stepped inside, her expression a mix of curiosity and hope. "Hyacinth," she began, her tone light but eager, "how has it been with Prince Rowan? Have you heard any talk of a proposal?"

I paused mid-stroke, my heart stopped, "I... I don't know, Mother," I replied, forcing a smile despite the unease that settled in my chest. "Maybe he's just not ready for marriage yet. I'm not sure I am either."

My mother's brow furrowed, her arms crossing over her chest as if to brace herself against my words. "Not ready? That's preposterous!" she exclaimed, her voice rising with a mixture of disbelief and urgency. "You've been of marriage age for five years already! As a matter of fact, I would say you were actually late to the marriage market."

I bit my lip, feeling a wave of discomfort wash over me. "I understand, but... marriage is a big step mother. There's so much to consider. Especially if I am to marry into royalty."

She shook her head, her frustration evident. "Consideration is all well and good, but you mustn't let opportunities slip away! Rowan is a prince, and you have a chance to secure a future. It's been weeks and he has not been seen with anyone else. He should be eager to propose!"

Oh if only my mother knew.

I set the brush down and met her gaze, "I know you want what's best for me, but perhaps he just needs more time. It's a lot of pressure, and I don't want to rush into something that may not be right."

"Pressure?" she echoed incredulously, disbelief etched across her features. "You deserve to be courted by someone who sees a future with you, Hyacinth. Don't settle for anything less than a proper proposal."

A knot tightened in my stomach as I turned away, struggling to articulate the whirlwind of emotions inside me. "I'm just... trying to be patient. Love isn't always about rushing into things. Sometimes it takes time to grow."

My mother softened slightly, though her determination remained. "Just remember, time waits for no one, my dear. Don't let it pass you by."

I nodded slowly, the silence between us heavy with unspoken thoughts. I returned to brushing my hair. Despite my mother's intentions, the pressure to conform to her vision of my future felt stifling. In a way, I was definitely fulfilling some of her dreams. At least one royal child was definitely interested in marrying me.

As I stared into the mirror, my reflection stared back. I couldn't deny my feelings for Aria, but the thought of marriage still felt so important. The uncertainty of the future gnawed at me, but deep down, I knew that I needed to find my own path, even if it diverged from the one my mother envisioned.

I finally put my brush down for the night. Any more strokes and I would go bald from all the hair I'd lose. I settled into my bed, thinking about nothing in particular. That was until I remembered the book Aria had lent me. Since I wasn't bound to sleep any time soon, I picked it up from the bedside drawers.

She told me she had placed a bookmark in between the pages she wanted me to read.

I audibly gasped at the first few sentences feeling myself grow heated from the words. I should've known from her cheeky smile when I took the book that this was what to expect.

Unfortunately, I was now burning with need and was desperate for relief.

Mature content begins here. Thank you.

I relaxed my back onto the pillow by the bed frame. It felt good when I touched myself but penetration still scared the living hell out of me. I had done it for Aria though so it couldn't have been as bad. I kneaded my breasts through my night dress, putting pressure on my nipples. Just the thought of Aria was enough to get me wet. I imagined her lips on my skin, calling me beautiful and all hers.

My hands moved to the ends of my nightdress and I pulled it up to my waist exposing my slit to the cool night air. I opened my legs up wider for more access as I teased my bud with light flicks. I massaged my folds slowly adding a little pressure every now and then. My fingers were quickly coated with my juices making it easier to rub myself off.

It already felt so good as I bit my bottom lip to prevent my moans from escaping. Slowly I dipped my slick middle finger into my wet entrance. It didn't feel like anything, just mildly weird as I went in and out. After a while, my stress must have overcome me as my walls clenched around my finger.

I guess I just couldn't achieve that high on my own but I had to relieve myself regardless. I added some saliva to my fingers just for extra slickness as I moved against my slit once again.

An image of Aria creped into my head. Her kneeling on that ground devouring my sex. That was enough to feel my climax at my core. I rubbed in circles, faster and faster, increasing the pressure until tears fell from my eyes from suppressing my plearureful moans. It burned deliciously as a circled some more for relief.

Once my breath steadied, I put my dress back over my legs and settled under the blanket as the heat at my core subsided.

This princess was going to be the end of me.