Gossip Girl: It Had To Be You

S is lucky to have a brother who can't read her mind

"So, I just finished reading Franny and Zooey, by J. D. Salinger," Erik van der Woodsen informed his sister as their Metro-North train ambled out of Grand Central and down the long dark tunnel leading out of the city. "He's the guy who wrote The Catcher in the Rye. You've read that, right?" Erik eagle-eyed her with navy blue eyes just as dark and huge as her own. His wavy pale blond hair skimmed his gray Brown T-shirt–clad shoulders. Nearly everyone who met them assumed they were twins.

Serena nodded as she fished in her orange canvas Coach beach tote for some cherry-flavored ChapStick. She was barely listening. She couldn't believe she was headed to Ridgefield to spend another summer with her family. It was just so weird. And so depressing.

"Well, anyway, this book wasn't nearly as good. Actually, it was really boring. There's all this stuff about religion that I totally didn't expect. Anyway, you really remind me of the girl in the book, Franny. I mean, you really remind me of her right now. She's, like, totally depressed, and her brother Zooey tries to help her snap out of it. He's kind of this wise-ass swishy actor, but it's nice that he cares."

Serena was seated between the window and Erik. The train rolled out of the tunnel and eased above ground near 125th Street. "I'm not depressed," she told the depressing-looking high-rise apartment buildings in front of her. "I'm—" She stopped short and closed her ChapStick-slick mouth. If she said anything more, she'd burst into tears. Instead she let her head fall away from the window, onto Erik's familiar, muscular shoulder, and allowed him to stroke her hair. "I'm just glad to be leaving," she sighed, shutting her eyes tight to hold back the tears.

"And I'm just glad we get to hang out this summer." Erik would be working at the Ridgefield Polo Club serving drinks in the open-air clubhouse next to the polo field. He was only seventeen, but somehow he'd landed the most coveted summer bartending job in Connecticut. Serena had a feeling she wouldn't see much of him once he befriended all the polo players and found a few pretty equestriennes to hit on.

Nate might have been the love of her life, but Erik was her knight in shining armor. The first time "she'd ever gotten her period the family was sailing in the Greek Islands. Serena was too embarrassed to tell her mom, so Erik dove overboard, swam to the nearest village, and swam back with Stayfree maxi pads in a plastic bag tied to his head. Every Christmas since they were babies they'd snuck downstairs in the house in Ridgefield in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve, unwrapped their presents, and then rewrapped them again. They'd driven the family's Mercedes station wagon into a ditch and left it there, claiming they had no idea how it got there. They'd stayed up till dawn almost every summer night, talking and talking, pretending to be great philosophers. If Serena was going to be sad with anyone, she would choose Erik. He knew her better than anyone else. But she still couldn't bring herself to tell him what was really wrong. They had to spend the whole summer together, after all, and she couldn't bear the thought of him hovering over her and worrying about her when all he really wanted to do was drink beer and listen to music by the pool with his boarding school friends.

Selfless as always, but wasn't it her selflessness that got her into this mess in the first place?

She replaced the cap on her ChapStick and shoved it back into her bag. The little clay boat Nate had made for her toppled against her knuckles. As the train sped through the Bronx, she reached for it and held on. It was pathetic, she knew.

But it was all she had.