Chef's Kiss

Chapter Twelve

TW: SELF HARM + BURNING + CUTTING + SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SKIP CHAPTER IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SUCH TOPICS

♡ · ♡ · ♡ · ♡ · ♡

The kiss was anything but romantic. It wasn't in the slightest way like a new couple's "magical" first kiss in movies. It wasn't at all similar to the love confessions and enchanting mouth-to-mouths in fairy tales. 

It all happened so quickly- too quickly to process. Vincent had lunged forward and- well, it was hard to even call it a kiss. A kiss was- at least, most of the time- supposed to be a sweet action that two people performed to express their love for one another. In this situation, it was more appropriate to describe this "kiss" as Vincent briefly and harshly slamming his lips against Rody's before pulling away just as quickly as it started.

Even so, it was the best thing Rody had felt in his entire life.

It had also ended much, much too soon.

Vincent pulled away, gasping, unable to think of anything to do or say. The encounter between their lips had barely lasted a second, yet Vincent felt like it had been eternity. He was certain Rody could hear his own heart beating, as that was the only sound ringing in Vincent's ears. He wanted to brutally kill himself for his stupidity. 'Shit, shit, shit, shit- what the fuck was I thinking-'  Vincent ran through a mental list of a thousand things he could do. He wanted to apologize formally and desperately, knock Rody out and hope he doesn't remember anything, knock himself out and hope he doesn't remember anything, bang his head into the nearest wall, jump off a roof and hope he either dies or gets amnesia, pretend he has a seizure, stab himself, stab Rody, go home and drink and cry like crazy and never appear again, try to think of anything he forgot somewhere so he has an excuse to escape the scene, cut off all contact with Rody and never show his face in front of Rody again- if it was even possible to show his face in front of Rody after this, that is- and much more.

He wondered which he would prefer- Rody forgetting about his suspicions of Vincent but hating him forever because he kissed him, or Rody hating him forever either way when he finds out Vincent killed his girlfriend. He hated both odds. 

Rody was staring blankly into space, his every thought being blocked by another one. He tried to form words, but his mind was running everywhere, too giddy to think straight. A shocked, lightheaded, in-love, and extremely bewildered look lingered on his face as the redhead stood frozen, trying to process things. Vincent thought that look meant that Rody officially thought Vincent was a disgusting excuse for a human and never wanted to see him again. At that moment, Vincent decided it was best to run away- and somehow think of a way to explain this to Rody later if ever even saw Rody again. He knew he'd lost his chance at ever getting Rody to like him back, anyways.

"I- I forgot something at home..." Vincent heard himself mumble. He felt his hands shove Rody aside and his legs carry him away from Rody. And he ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him up the stairs to his apartment, using his arms to push himself forward using the railings. He hadn't run this fast since... well, the incident. He was sprinting with all his energy, his lungs burning and his stomach hurting, slamming his apartment door and leaning against the wall, wanting to cry- all because of a man. A man he loved painfully. A man he had killed for and would kill again for.

Pathetic.

♡ · ♡ · ♡ · ♡ · ♡