accidents happen

Tinkerbell is Overrated

"I'm afraid of lying in my room
I stay awake and this is the truth
I can't pretend when I'm with my closest friends
'Cause Tinker Bell is super overrated"
-tinkerbell is overrated
beabadoobee & PinkPantheress

I tried to pause the time, to give myself two seconds to collect my thoughts and figure out how to speak to him, but time moved, and now I'm walking to my dorm, to Aaron.

My classes went by like nothing; it was all too easy. I had a growing sense that this peace wouldn't last long, but I had to confront this.

I had to figure out why I was so attached to this guy and why everything he's ever said is engraved into my memory.

"Jordan, wait up!" I turn at the voice, stopping me in my tracks; I turn to the voice and watch as Logan catches up to me.

"Hey, Logan," my voice is quiet and nervous. The last time we saw each other was tense, and I can't handle two of these conversations at once.

I can't go through this conversation with Logan and then turn around and have the same one with Aaron.

"Hey, Jordan, " he smiles at me and nudges my shoulder playfully. "How's it going? Don't you have classes right now?"

I think just for a moment that this is a bad idea. Pretending it never happened will just bring issues, but it'll bring peace right now, so I decide to let the problems come; I'll deal with them then.

"Nah, I haven't filled up the electives page, so I only have three classes right now." I keep walking up, slowing my pace to match his.

He smiles brighter, "So you're free right now?" a knowing look in his eyes. "No. Uhm, Aaron's upstairs. He wants to have a whole talk, so I'm probably going to be busy for a good two hours."

His smile drops, "Oh, Uhm. Yeah, no worries. Are you okay with that?" I smile just slightly; even after everything, he's still worried about me.

"I don't have much of a choice, you know? He's not a bad person; he just hurt me." He slows his pace as we walk into Blackwood, and I fall into speed with him. "You always have a choice, Blue."

My nickname is back on his lips, and it's lovely. To have this be steady. I was so afraid that this wouldn't be okay, that we wouldn't. "I mean, I have a choice, but he flew here and pulled me out of class. The least I can do is give him time to speak."

We begin walking up the stairs, our arms brushing. "Do you want me to go in with you?" I turn to look at him, our eyes meeting. "You would do that?" He smiles and nods at me.

I consider it for just a moment before shaking my head. "I think it's better if I do this alone. He gets hotheaded easily, and you'll only fuel his jealousy." He opens his mouth to respond but instead nods his head.

"I'll just head back downstairs to my dorm." He doesn't let me respond; he just begins walking away. I want to tell him to come back to help me, but I can't. He doesn't deserve to be strung along.

I approach my door warily. My mind is racing with reasons I should turn around, get in my car, and just leave, never come back. There are a million reasons to go.

Life here is new; I wouldn't miss it, and life at home was something else that I know I wouldn't forget, but inside that door is a conversation I don't want to have.

I need to have this conversation, and I need to know why. So I walk in.

"Surprise!!" Walking in, I saw streamers everywhere, lights, and my friends. "Oh my God! Guys!" I pulled my friends into a big hug. I thought I wouldn't see you until fall break. Tears gathered in my eyes. I missed them so much.

Charlie takes a moment to speak, "We couldn't miss your first day, Clover." There's a slight smile on his face. "Aaron called us and said he'd talk to you around 7:00, so we have all day to hang out."

This is the best news I've heard in ages. I look around at all my friends, and I miss this. Even before Hawthorne, I was so involved with Aaron. We haven't had times like this since Freshman year.

"So? Are you going to introduce us to your friends?" Keyla interrupts my thoughts with a smile. "We watched you walk into the building with some guy. Who's he?" she says with a knowing smirk.

My face filled with heat, "He's Logan. We met recently; he's a good friend. Josh, my roommate Wes, and I became friends with Amira this morning."

We spoke for hours, and at five, there was a knock at the door, interrupting our yearly LaLa Land watch. "Ugh. Kick them out." Charlie coughed out between sobs. "Charlie, you watched this yesterday. How are you crying again? " Keyla laughed, throwing a pack of tissues at him.

He mocks her and throws a pillow at her before turning back to me, "Kick whoever that is out." I laugh at his teary face. "Hold up, it's probably the pizza I ordered. It's not supposed to be here until 5:30, so it's kind of early."

I roll off the sofa, pushing Charlie off of his rolled-up position on my lap. He groans, shoving me off the couch. "Augh. Thanks, Charlie." He grins at me before turning his attention back to Ryan Gosling. 

I open the door to see a smiling face and a pizza box, "Hey Jordan," Josh smiles at me, tomato sauce spread across his mouth.

"Awh, you ate our pizza." I grab the box out of his hands. "Our?" he questions, and I open the door so he can see my friends.

A huge smile grows on his face. "Am I invited?" he smiles down at me, his face blushing. "Oh well, actually." "Thanks," he interrupts me and walks past me into the living room before taking a seat next to Keyla.

"Hey, girl," he smirks at her. She side-eyes him before sighing, "No." He frowns at that. "Why not?" she laughs out. "You're not my type, and I'm not yours. Thanks, though; you're adorable."

"I can be your type; give me one chance." He's still frowning at her. She rolls her eyes and sits next to Mel in the recliner, "Hey baby," Mel laughs out. "Don't come to me; give the boy a shot."

"Fine, let's do tomorrow at noon?" she says to Josh, who is sitting crisscrossed on the floor and nodding at her.

This will be fun.

~~

AN: REREADING BOYS OF TOMMEN UGSHEBDJAUBWBEBSBWUWUBSGRHWHAJSJJSJSJEJDJDJDJ I CANT 😔 also love how i practically write a fake diary atp bc NOBODY READS THEAE i sound mad but i actually don't care too much 👶 also bought a bookshelf and it wasn't enough my books are still piled on the floor and then i ordered over 20 more 😔 what was i thinking

okay guys (update to an: 11/14 tate mcrae two hands is out and o already preordered her new album as a vinyl and cd also started skyshade today and i had to take a break bc she started making me mad so yea went back to writing a chapter even though i haven't written in like a month. 🤗)

WC: 1102