Culpables years later...

Chapter 14

Noah 

A few weeks later, things returned to normal. Anabell had been here several times, because she didn't want to be alone. By now, all the Leisters had recovered, and even William was doing better. My mom would accompany him to his appointments to assist him. Nick and I had often sneaked into houses that we might be interested in. There were a few that we liked, but not where we were 100 percent saying, "Well, that's what we wanted." None of them lived up to our expectations.

Tomorrow, we had a tour of a house on the beach, which we really liked. We had an appointment that really suited us, because the hour before, I had an appointment with the gynecologist. Nick had made it clear that he wanted to be there for every appointment for the baby. He didn't want to miss anything. The great thing was I was still with my doctor, Doctor Hubber, who was there with me all the time I was pregnant with Andrew. The rest of the family still didn't know about the second pregnancy. There was never the right time to tell them. It was annoying me and it was annoying us. It was all this secrecy. What made me nervous was that Michael hadn't been heard from since the fire. The worst thing was this uncertainty. What was next? It couldn't possibly have been over, right?

I was always trying to think about something else, like our little family. I was just taking Andrew to preschool, who was so unmotivated today. "Mom, I don't want to go to school. It's all stupid." We sat in the car and we were right there. "Why? You like it there. The stuff, the teachers and your friends?" "There's a girl who always annoys me. There's nothing I can do about it." A girl annoyed my son? Why would anybody annoy him? It sounds strange, because I'm his mother, but he's the nicest and most helpful boy there. He can't even hurt a spider. 

All of a sudden, I smiled. "Maybe she likes you, honey. That's why she's annoying you?" "Ihhh no! Lizzie's stupid. She's the one who prefers to play with Barbies over cars. She also loves school." "You too, Andie. Maybe she's nice. Why don't you talk to her or offer her a cookie?" Andrew, sitting in the back of his car seat, looked out the window. My five-year-old son, already had female fans. Incredible. Thank you, Nicholas. What happens when he's a teenager?

"I'd rather be with my boys' friends, Mom. Girls are girls." He looked out of the window where he could already see his school. "Please be nice to her, Andie. Will you do me a favor?" "Just because it's you, Mom. Bye." He unbuckled and almost ran out of the car and into the school. I stayed in the car for a few more minutes, and I saw him being greeted by his friends, and together they walked in. How fast are the kids growing up? It was weird not being able to go to work and stay home all the time. But to be honest, I was starting to get frustrated by staying home all the time. Thank God there were friends like Jenna who could help you out. She and Lion were going through a rough patch, which is why she was happy when she came out and could switch off from college. The plan was that we would go to the park and their twins would come along. There was a cute cafe in the middle of the park and right next to it a playground or something. It was nice to get some vitamin D and chat.

Before I headed to the park, I stopped at McDonald's Drive. I got cravings for an ice cream. After I got it, I parked so I could eat it in peace. As I ate, I thought about Nick. Thanks to the hormones, I missed him terribly, even though I'd only seen him an hour ago. He must be at work at the Germany Conference by now. They wanted to expand, and they were under a lot of stress right now. It was a weird feeling. Every time I thought about where we started, I never thought we'd be married and have two kids. It's true, I thought he was really hot then, but that we'd go further than that? Impossible. And now? We had done it. The two of us who had not-so-great childhoods, all sorts of things are trying to do better with our kids.

I remembered a tough time for the three of us. It was the time when Andrew's teeth started. Everybody was in a bad mood. Andrew was in pain and couldn't sleep, so we couldn't sleep, and that's when Nick and I learned how hard it was to be parents. Andrew was always a light baby who slept quickly and often without complaining. Sleep deprivation made Nick and I feel the same way. Being in a bad mood and not getting enough sleep is not a good station wagon. It tests a lot of things, but we found good solutions to help Andie, and so did us. Despite all the stress, we found time for both of us. I remember one time we had to go shopping, and I just fell asleep in the car while Nick was at home with Andie, waiting. 

As my thoughts were far away, my ice cream was empty, too. So it was time to meet Jenna and the boys. When I got to the park, I saw Jenna and her sons from afar. Both boys were chasing a ball. "Noah! Hey." Smiling, I walked up to Jenna and hugged her. Then I felt poor people closing around my legs. "Aunt Noahhhhh." I laughed. It was always funny how they both pronounced my name. I bent down to hug my two boys and stab them in the sides. "Where's Andie?" "He's at school and couldn't be there." Even though the two and Andie were two years apart, they got along really well.  Those two definitely came from Lion. Look-wise and demeanor-wise, no doubt. Together with the boys, we walked to the café, where we all ate. "Where is Lion?" Jenna looked at me annoyed at the question. "He's working. It just feels from dawn to dusk. The boys are often at my parents' house, and I'm alone studying or shopping." I didn't want to talk about Lion when his sons were sitting at the table. Jenna understood my silence, and we talked about something else. And when the boys were out playing, Jenna and I started talking about Lion again. 

"You know, Jenna, he's a proud man, he wants to work his way up to give you something. He loves you and the kids. And if you're in a sexless phase, then so be it. Go for a romantic dinner, put on something nice and seduce him." "How do you do it to Nick? You're just married, but you don't seem like you're having sex problems." My gaze wandered around the park and caught on to a young couple. It looked like Carla with her kid and a blonde guy. Who was that guy? Carla wanted to show me a picture, but we were interrupted. The guy looked at me. And my heart stopped. His face looked like Michael's. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. They were gone. Was I getting paranoid? "Noah, are you okay?" "Jenna, I swear, there was Michael with a friend of mine." My friend looked at me puzzled. "Noah. None of this is good for you. Focus on something else before you go crazy." She was right, I know. Only I was uncomfortable now and grabbed my stomach. "Noah okay? Do you have a stomachache?" Should I tell her? Or wait? "Well, Jenna, to be honest, there's something I wanted to tell you. Only there hasn't been a good time yet, because you and Lion were having problems. Jenn, I'm pregnant."

She looked at me, and I felt it hit her. Suddenly, she screamed loudly, and everyone's eyes turned on us. She got tears in her eyes and almost jumped across the table and hugged me. "I'm so happy for you. I know how long you've wanted another child, but I'm mad at you that you didn't tell me sooner! Whether I'm in trouble or not, you're my family." I hugged her tighter. Jenna was my best friend, and no matter what, she would remain so. "Do you know what gender it's going to be?" I shook my head, and she smiled. "A girl would suit you. Nick's good with girls." I laughed sarcastically and flipped her the middle finger. 

"Oh, man, I'm getting really jealous of your life right now." "Really? Yeah, good things are happening, but you don't want Michael and an unknown friend. But we're going. We're looking for new houses where we can raise the baby and Andie."

"That's right. Sorry." I took her hand, and you'd think we were a couple.

"Have you talked to Lion? How he's doing?" "No, not really. I just feel lonely. I mean, we've never had any problems or fights. We've always been on the same page throughout our marriage. Now it's kind of weird." "I've always looked up to your relationship, Jenna. You and Lion have always been the couple, which everyone envied. You've always had what Nick and I lacked. Thanks to you, I've learned that there's more to it." "Oh shit, Noah. Are you crying?" Yeah, I cried. Thanks to those smeared hormones. She grabs my hand tighter. "Do the others know about the baby?" "Not yet. It's not the right time. We're still waiting, and my damn hormones are going crazy." She laughed and handed me a handkerchief. 

We talked for a while, until the boys came and everyone sat down on one lap. It was a beautiful morning.