Endlessly (Harry Styles)

Chapter 42

*Hazel Murray*

My cheek stung and my face was red from shame and fear.

Samantha. Freaking Samantha came to my own Meet and Greet to spite me.

"You have some guts to come here." I had told her.
"Why so?" She had answered me.
"Well outside the fact that I fucking hate you, you mean? Or that you're a complete bitch?"

That's when she slapped me.

I was so freaking pissed at her. Andy took a step in my direction, but I rose my hand to stop him. I have to do this. I couldn't keep this up; I had to stand up for myself once and for all. I didn't want her to control my life anymore, to have that power to break me down in a snap of a finger... I wanted to prove to myself, and all the others, that i was strong, that I could do it.

I glared at her.

"Is that all you can do, Samantha?" I growled. "Slap me, tell me I'm a slut, but I still won... I'm famous, I'm a soon-to-be rich... I'll have my place with the celebrities, but you... you'll be forgotten..." I snarled.

I normally wouldn't be this mean and vehement, but she pushed it too far. That night... when I was back home... I was so close to just ending it all. And it was her fault.

"I mean, what the hell are you going to do with her whole life? Bully people? Push them over the edge? Try to kill them?" I attacked, my jaw clenched.
"I..." She started.
"No, you don't get to talk, Samantha. You talked enough." I said, my voice slowly losing all conviction. "You've done enough... Why can't you just leave me alone?"

I hated how pathetic I sounded.

Samantha hesitated. "I... I just..." She bit her lip, her face softening a bit as she looked away.

I almost had hope she would apologize for everything, that she would tell me how wrong she was. And I would have forgiven her, because I don't want to carry that around all my life... But as soon as it appeared on her face, it was gone. That flicker of guilt I saw vanished like it never even existed.

"You think you're better than any of us?" She asked, her voice lowering. "Well, I've got some news for you, Hazel. You're no fucking better than any other human being, and you're sure as hell not as good as you think you are."

I opened my mouth to reply, but no sound came out of it. My fears and doubts slowly crawled their way in my mind again, petrifying me on the spot. Was I really like she said I was? My heart started beating irregularly in my chest, my breathing coming out in light pants as I tried to control my small anxiety attack.

"Nobody would fucking care if you live or not. Everybody is just being nice to you out of pity. You're nothing, you're worthless." She continued, obviously pleased that her words had such an effect on me. "They were lying to you, Hazel. I'm the only one nice enough to tell you the truth. Just end your misery there..."

I bit my lip, and shook my head. I shouldn't let her get to me. Harry loved me, Niall loved me, the other boys loved me, the girls loved me. I wasn't alone, she was the one lying. They cared for me... Did they?

"You're still thinking that I'm lying now, are you...?" Samantha snickered. "Face it, Hazel, you'll never be good, or pretty, or talented enough to go where you think you're going. Okay, for now you have a certain notoriety because of One Direction, but as soon as they'll get tired of dragging you around like the burden you are, you'll be forgotten."

My breath started quickening as I slowly lost control over myself. I tried to block her out of my mind, but her words stabbed me in the heart, making their way straight to my mind, destroying everything I've worked so hard on building up after leaving my hometown...

"You'll back into the void where you come from, back to oblivion. Harry will find someone much better, the boys will forget about you, and you're so called fans will lay aside your pathetic whiny music."

I was literally shaking. All my anger towards her vanished to become self-pity and self-hatred. Why was I so weak in front of her? Why couldn't be like the role model I thought I was for the little girls like Juliet? I thought I was doing good at building my confidence and learn to love myself, but now I realized that I just pretending all along. I wasn't fine. I hated myself, and I hated myself for it. My walls all came crumbling down at my feet like ashes in the wind.

"You could die, and no one would care." Samantha said in a fake sweet voice.

I gasped as tears wielded in my eyes. My breathing came out more raspier. I bit my lip to hide the trembling, but I could keep my tears from falling. One of them roll slowly on my cheek as her words repeated in my mind. No one would care. No one would care. No one would care. You could die. No one would care.

"I would." A strong and confident voice I grew to love dearly said next to me. "Leave now, before I call security and they take you out by force. I'm not bluffing." He hissed.
"That won't be necessary, I have someone waiting for me outside anyways..."

Samantha rose her hands and smirked at me, knowing very well that she had what she wanted. I looked away. I couldn't help but think that she was right. Seriously, who would care? No one would care. No one would care. No one would care. You could die. No one would care.

"Well then, goodbye for now, I guess, Hazel." Samantha said in a bittersweet voice. "Aaron says hi by the way." She chuckled darkly, my blood freezing in my veins.
"A-Aaron is here?" I asked, my shaky voice terribly pathetic and weak. No one would care. No one would care. No one would care. You could die. No one would care.

No. He can't be. Please, no...

Pure fear took over my mind as I looked around in, terrified at the possibility of seeing him lurking around a corner, smirking, sending a small mocking wave at me, before coming closer and beating me up. All the suppressed memories I had came rushing back to me, closing my throat, keeping the air out of my lungs. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't speak. No one would care. No one would care. No one would care. You could die. No one would care.

I wanted to leave. I needed to leave.No one would care. No one would care. No one would care. You could die. No one would care.

I started running, ignoring the pain irradiating from my ankle after I twisted it (A/N:running in high heels is a dangerous sport, don't do it at home, this stunt was made by professionals). Tears blurred in my eyes as I bumped through people to get out of the mall. I heard a voice calling out behind me, but I was too out of it to make out who said it and what it was. I continued sprinting through the halls, not knowing where I was going. No one would care. No one would care. No one would care. You could die. No one would care.

But in the end, did it truly matter? No one would care. No one would care. No one would care. You could die. No one would care.

When my lungs were burning because of the lack of oxygen, I stopped running, clutching my chest in pain. I put my hand on the nearest wall for some support, but I found nothing and crashed on the ground, sobbing. I rolled in a small ball, tears flooding down my face. I held my knees close to myself, silently calling out for help. You could die. No one would care.

The walls I felt falling down at Samantha's words built themselves back up around me, keeping prisoner. I was chocking on my sobs, desperately trying to breathe. I let out a strangled sound, my body shaking in fear and loneliness. I needed help, I wanted to shout over the walls, but they kept me in... I was in a glass case of emotions, cut out from the rest of the world, drowning in my own fear and self-loathing. You could die. No one would care.

I felt cold, so cold. My whole body was like ice. My blood was freezing, my skin was pale and glacial, my nerves were frozen. As if death already came to claim me. You could die. No one would care.

I desperately tried to cling onto something, anything really, but I couldn't find anything. You could die. No one would care.

I couldn't find anyone.

You could die.

No one would care.

I could die. Would anybody care?

I wanted to yell. I wanted to shout. I'M IN HERE. I couldn't. CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME? God, I couldn't. HELP ME. I was just a little ball of tears and fears, crumbled over herself. PLEASE.

You could die. No one would care. I'M ALL ALONE.

Strong arms wrapped around me. I was startled at first, but when I realized who it was, I snuggled closer to the heat, smelling his deep scent. I continued sobbing, barely making out words from his soothing voice. But he was there, he was my anchor, he was all I needed. My shaking gelid body started warming up. My heart slowly went back to its normal beating, and my breathing was more more regular. I was getting a grip, and I started making out words from the mouth of my anchor.

"I care, Haze. I always will. Don't you even fucking think about it. Don't even think about leaving me. I need you, we all do. Please come back to me."
"I need you too." I managed to croak out, my voice raspy and unnatural. "So, so much."
"Thanks God you're okay..." He whispered, kissing my forehead.
"I'm not..." I murmured. "I'm not okay. I don't know if I'll ever be..."
"You will be. I'll help you, but I promise you you will be." He told me, gazing softly in my eyes.

I hugged him closer, letting him soothe me. My breath was still slightly shaky.

"I'm not lying, Haze, that girl... she was the one lying. I care about you. I really do. I love you, Hazel."

You could die. No one would care. It's a lie. He cares.

"I love you too, Niall."



A/N: hehhehehehe oopsie... bet you weren't expecting that, hey ;) SORRY NOT SORRYYYYYYYY <3 thanks for the likes, the support, the comments, the rainbows, the follows, and the cupcakes, I really enjoy it :)

HAVE A NICE DAY AND IF SOMEBODY FORGOT TO TELL YOU TODAY CAUSE THEY'RE FUCKING BLIND, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOUR BUTT LOOKS AMAZING IN THOSE PANTS/SKIRT/UNDERWEAR/NOTHING AND DON'T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT, OR ELSE I'LL HAVE TO GO TO YOUR HOUSE GIVE YOU A BLOODY HUG