ACCEPTING 'US'

12.

Shyam's POV:

I messed up. I know what I did or said to her is not acceptable. I should have thought once before being too distant from her.
After meeting Laxmi that day at the temple I couldn't get her words out of my mind. She completely took away my peace of mind. And what added more is that my friends Kalyan and Mani started talking behind my back and also made fun of my married life. I heard them several times talking about me but I ignored thinking some or the other day they would stop. Surprisingly bhairav was not like them. He had been supportive with my decision. Vikas was also busy with his work and family as his wife is pregnant.
What made me feel sad is that I was not able to make her happy. I kept constantly ignoring her. I not only ignored her but also the feelings which were developing for her.
That day while going to the market I ignored her completely. And when I asked if she needed anything she ended up saying nothing. That made me talk to her rudely. She didn't show her sadness but I was sure she was really mad as she wanted to talk to her dadi after a long time. I thought she would be angry and shout at me but she just silently talked to her dadi. I thought she would buy various items but she didn't even buy a single item for herself. All she did was look around in excitement and talk about her life before marriage.
After reaching home I again vented my anger on her but what shocked me was her question.
Was I poor or rich? She weighed richness with heart and what pinched my heart was the tears streaming down her face. She had tears in her eyes but the way she spoke to me made my heart pierce. Whole night she kept weeping.
That night I thought how she adjusted to this life. How she got well acquainted with mother and never made any fuss about things. I felt like an idiot in front of her. I wanted to apologise her for my behaviour but I ended up doing nothing as she kept busy herself.
The unexpected arrival of her father was another shock to me. I was planning to apologise and tell her how much I regret for my past behaviour but she was leaving with her father.
During her packing too I made my way to apologise to clear things before she left but she again said those words making me feel uneasy and shameful. She soon packed her bags and left. I was feeling helpless as well as little sad about her departure. I kept looking out until they disappeared. I sighed not understanding how will I survive with this regression.
And from the time she left I feel much more messed up. I was not able to talk with anyone. I couldn't eat as I miss her presence beside me while eating. The way she would serve me and the way she would keep listening to ma and me while eating. The place she would sit and talk with the calfs. The place she would pluck flowers. The place she would just sit and stare at sky. The place she would cook. The place she would sleep. The place she would put her clothes to dry.
I didn't even realise I observed so many things about her, yet I didn't talk to her. She might have felt very strange with my behaviour. She might have even spent days thinking about my changed attitude towards her. I sighed and laid in bed. I don't know how long I will survive like this.
" Shyama, is everything alright? " Ma asked me while having breakfast.
" Yes ma. What happened? " I asked.
" Nothing shyama I observed you were looking beside you way too many times as if someone was sitting there " she said and I pressed my lips.
" Don't try to hide the fact that you miss sudha. Even I miss her presence " she said looking straight at me. I tried to act normal as if not affected with her question.
" I told her about Shalini a few days ago " mom said after a pause.
" You did? But why? " I asked. I never wanted anyone talking about Shalini as mom gets very depressed. She loves girls very much and when Shalini died off pneumonia she was devastated. I never thought mom would ever become normal. But now I was utterly shocked to see her normal talking about Shalini.
" Yes shyama. Now you do not have to worry as I have a daughter now. I consider sudha as my daughter. She's just like how I thought my daughter to be. I am really happy to have her " she said with fondness. I know both of them bonded well but I didn't knew mom got so attached to her. All these days I felt I did a mistake maybe but seeing mom so happy I feel even more remorseful for treating sudha badly. I wish I could go and apologize her now itself but I cannot. As soon as she comes back, the first thing I do is, apologising to her.
" I am happy that you like sudha " I said while placing my hand on her.
" Now come on finish your food and go to work before it's too late " she said diverting my attention.
I soon finished eating, went to farm. It was afternoon, I finished the work and stepped out to wash my hands.
" Shyam didn't I tell you to get rid of your wife? How many times should I repeat that I am ready to marry you. Just leave her for God sake " Laxmi said from behind me. I shook my head not understanding this girl's problem.
" And how many times do I have to enlighten you to leave me alone? I am good as I am. Just get out of here " I shouted the later part as I saw mom coming towards me with lunch. She had tears in her eyes but she left as soon as she saw ma.
" What was she doing here shyama? " Ma asked when she saw Laxmi leaving from there.
" Nothing ma just came to meet her friend. She just exchanged few words with me and left. Serve me lunch I am famished " I said and sat down to eat. Ma looked at me suspiciously and started serving me.
" If that's the case fine. But if it is something else I will not spare her " she said. For some reason ma did not like her. She always said to be away from Laxmi. She thinks she is not respectful towards elders and always acts as if she knows everything.
.....

It's been many days since sudha left to her home and shyam was eagerly waiting for her arrival. He want to get her back by himself but he feared people will judge him. He laid in bed and touched the place where she would sleep. He slept on her pillow and inhaled it. It smelt like her. He caressed the pillow and closed his eyes imagining as if he hugged her.
In zamindar's house Devamma was working.
" Devamma wash these as well. It's been a while since they are washed " zamindar's wife placed a pile of clothes in front of her and went inside. These clothes are not used by anyone but still she want Devamma to work more. For some reason she disliked devamma. Every time she wanted to yell at her for no reason. Whenever zamindar sahab was not around she would make her do extra work as zamindar sahab is aware of his wife's acting and attitude.
Devamma was washing clothes when she heard zamindar sahab's vehicle coming inside.
" Kishore why don't you go and bring Radha back. It's been a while since she went and it would be better if we go and bring her back orelse they may think we are not interested in bringing her back. So it would be respectful for you to go and bring her back " zamindar said to his son.
" But baapuji I am going to town tomorrow morning for some official work " kishore replied.
" Okay. I will call and inform them. Vamshi (the driver) and your mother will go and bring her back tomorrow while you finish the work " he ordered to which kishore nodded agreeing.
Devamma heard their conversation and thought that she would also send shyam to bring sudha back.
.....

" Shyama tomorrow go and bring sudha back home. It's been a long time she went " Devamma said to her son that night.
" But why tomorrow only? " He asked.
" Zamindar sahab also said to bring Radha beti back. So if we don't go, sudha may feel bad that we didn't come to bring her back " she answered. Shyam thought for a while and nodded. Eventhough he was excited he suppressed and acted normal.
" Okay tomorrow evening I will go and come back by midnight " he said.
" No no don't come at night itself. Stay for the night and come the next morning " she said concerned.
" Okay ma as you wish " he said with a smile.
" Make sure you finish your work early tomorrow. You know right, how far it is from here " she said again.
" I know ma " he said but what he wanted to reply is ' I will go now only ma ' but he resisted himself.
The next day zamindar's wife went in the morning along with the driver. Devamma finished her work and went back home.
In the evening shyam came back early than usual and got ready to leave.
" Be careful shyama and tell everyone that I asked them " she said. Shyam got in his cart and left from there.
All he could think is how to say sorry to her when he meets her. She might be still angry with him.
It was almost night when he reached her home. The car is not outside which means zamindar sahab's wife already left. He sighed heavily before entering.
" Namaste papa ji " he said as soon as he spotted his father in law talking outside with someone. He soon excused himself and welcomed his son in law. Both of them sat in hall while the maid brought him water.
" Ma asked about you all papa ji " shyam said remembering his mother's words.
" Best wishes from us too jamai ji " he said while folding hands. Shyam smiled and drank water while his eyes kept roaming around the room to get a glimpse of his wife. She was no where to be seen and heard.
Tyagaraj observed his son in law and smiled knowing that he was searching for his wife.
" Sudha and her dadi went out to market to buy some stuff. They might be back home anytime " he said to which shyam nodded. His heart was yearning to see her once and she was here busy roaming in the market. He wish he could go by himself and search for her but he don't want to look desperate in front of his father in law. Both of them started a light conversation. Even though shyam was talking to him his eyes kept shifting towards the maindoor every now and then.
After few moments a juice was served to him. He thanked and started sipping it slowly wanting to waste some more time.
" Dadi I already told you there was no need for you to buy them. But still you being you, do not listen to me " sudha kept ranting and entered the house. She didn't see her husband sitting there.
On the other hand shyam looked at the door as soon as he heard her voice. His heart skipped it's beat when he heard her voice. It felt like the world around him stopped and the drink got stuck in his throat for a second.
Then she entered still talking to her dadi. His eyes were fixed to her who was still talking with her dadi. His eyes devoured her for a few moments before his father in law cleared his throat breaking his reverie. Sudha also turned her attention towards the people in room and was shocked.

Okay guys! That's Shyam again😉 who is desperate to meet his wife.
How's the chapter guys? Are you liking how it's going? Do let me know your thoughts.
Silent readers keep talking to yourself😏😀
Huge thanks to people who are very supportive🙏❤️
Till then bye...