Echoes of Emotions

Memories

I remember when you and I traveled,
We were in the backyard looking up at the sky.
I remember how blue it was
And how we pointed at the clouds.
They were fluffy and floated
As we searched for their different shapes.

I remember once on the way home
From Grandma and Grandpa's,
I was young then and didn't understand,
But on the way home, Mom stopped the car.
She cried tears, and I didn't know why.
I had to comfort her and say that it would be okay.
I didn't know then what things were about,
But I remember that things got better
And that you chose to keep driving home.

I remember when my dad and I stayed up late,
We burned some trash and just talked.
The darkness had settled around us, and you shared
Stories from your past.
I have always loved listening to how life used to be.
You tell the stories so well,
And I marvel at how much you've been through.
Will I one day sit and talk to my children
Just like you talked to me?

I remember once,
It was Midsummer, and I was young.
You were a couple, Dad and Mom.
I remember how we celebrated at my uncle's.
I remember how all the kids played innocently
While the adults sat and drank.
But I didn't think about that then;
We were having too much fun.
But I remember when we had to drive home through the woods,
I remember how you were drunk and drove.
Sure, it wasn't fast,
But it was wobbly, and I was young,
Didn't think much about it then.

I remember when Dad and Mom celebrated my birthday.
You were so kind and built an obstacle course
For me and my friends who were invited.
But sadly, I remember
That only two showed up to the party.
I was a summer child,
And no one seemed to have the time to come to my party,
And you, who had arranged so kindly for me—
It was a fun obstacle course.

I remember later that same Midsummer,
I remember when we got home.
I had laid down in my bed while you were in yours.
You had the room next to mine.
I remember how Mom was sick.
I could hear it.
I didn't really understand why then,
But I remember it smelled awful afterward.

I remember when you fought.
I never understood back then who was wrong and who was right.
I didn't know what was happening or going on,
But I remember how Mom came to my bed
And lay down crying beside me.
I don't remember if Dad was sitting down at the table,
Drinking himself drunk on alcohol.
I was just a child.

I remember the day I had my name day,
How I had been at school and was happy.
I remember how I was going to tell you
That today was my name day.
And when I opened the door, you were in the kitchen—
Dad and Mom, and Mom was crying.
You explained to me that Dad had accidentally run over the dog.
I know the dog was old,
And Dad should know that I understand it wasn't his fault.
But somehow, the dog had walked in front
Of the big tractor tire where Dad couldn't see.
There was nothing to be done about it.
That day fell apart.

I remember how I had a black cat.
I called him Sooty.
I had had him since he was a kitten.
I remember how one day we were on our way home
When Dad got a call.
My cat had been killed
By my uncle's Rottweiler—
The same Rottweiler that, years later,
Would leave me with a scar for life.

I remember how my brother and I were on our way down
To visit my cousins.
We walked there, and the dogs were outside by a fence.
They barked a lot, and we were of course scared.
When my brother and I stood there by the door,
He knocked while they barked,
And suddenly, one dog came flying towards us—
An adult Rottweiler.
My brother managed to open the door, and we threw ourselves inside,
But it was too late.
I lay on the floor, not knowing what had happened,
Only seeing a little wound on my arm
Where a tooth had sunk in.
But then my uncle came and turned my arm over.
What I hadn't seen at first
Was a deep gash in the flesh.
The muscle had been scraped, and I went into shock.
I was taken to the hospital