Egotober - 2024

14. Blue || Chase Brody & Antisepticeye

Blue by Billie Eilish would be a good song for today, unfortunately i dont want to not stick a Twenty One Pilots song in here lmao

"Chase-"

Anti's voice was calmer than Chase had ever heard, and that made him worried.

"What?" He sighed, curling into an even tighter ball.

"Are you ok?"

"Why do you care?" Chase huffed, biting down painfully on his tongue, his fingers starting to ghost over the cut that went over his eye. Somehow he knew that that was Anti's fault.

Anti didn't respond, but Chase felt the weight of a hand on his shoulder. Just the pressure, no warmth, because obviously Anti wasn't even there.

"Are you... Are you in my head? Is everything my fault?" Chase whispered. "Did I make you up to protect myself from all the bad things I've done?"

Static filled the room, growing louder until the hand was taken off his shoulder. "No."

"But..." Chase sighed, pressing his face into his pillow. "I've never seen you, what if it's like that thing where I have multiple personalities in my head or something..."

"I'm not just in your head, I just stay there because it's safest for me."

Chase shook his head. If he didn't know what despair was before, he sure did now. Everything felt blue, like he was drowning in the deepest ocean. Because before, losing his wife and child was his worst fear, but slowly Chase is starting to feel like his worst fear isn't just losing them, it's that it's his fault they're dead.

"It's my fault, isn't it," he whispered. "I killed them and made you up and now I can't remember anything..."

The only sound in the room was the low buzzing of the lights now. It was his fault, and he knew it. 

ALSO mildly related, but how silly would it be if i started a storyline where all of the other egos are just DID personalities in Chase's head

as i type this i realize that i read a fic about something very similar but i enjoy the idea