𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃

SEUNGMIN O.

"seungmin, honey, you've been in the shower for two hours now, are you alright?"

there was blood oozing out of the scratches on his arms, flowing down his tanned skin. but his nails kept scratching.

he didn't hear his mother calling out his name, frantically trying to open the door.

sobs and groans escaped his lips as he tried to scratch away the feeling of his hands on his body.

at his friend's house party, seungmin just tried to have fun, trying to distract himself. his now-ex-girlfriend cheated on him without shame.

so seungmin got pretty drunk. until a boy started to take advantage of his vulnerable state.

seungmin vaguely remembered how he tried to push him away, he didn't even know his name, but he was stronger.

next thing seungmin knows is he's calling his mom, begging her to pick him up. pulling up his jeans again, he took a look at himself in the mirror. and has never felt that disgusting before.

once she picked him up, the woman asked no questions, sensing that her son wanted to be left alone.

and she smelled the alcohol, assuming that he was just drunk and wanted to go home.

there, seungmin immediately went to his room, locking himself in and passing out on the bed because he kept feeling dizzy.

waking up in the noon of the other day, seungmin noticed that his mother was still home.

"made you some soup - it's supposed to help" she smiled and sighed, watching as her son just stood up, saying nothing.

until he reached the door. "i'll shower first."

in said shower, seungmin tried to get rid of the feeling of the boy's hands.

first, he tried to rub it away with a cloth, growing frustrated as it didn't work. so he tried scratching.

hence the following situation.

the hot water was burning his skin, yet the trance he was in made him automatically blend that out.

"seungmin, i'm serious. don't play with me right now!"

the boy finally heard the desperate shouts of his mother, shrugging horribly before looking towards the door. she was right.

standing up on shaky legs, he didn't even mind to wipe away the blood, solely wrapping a blanket around his waist before opening the door.

a cloud of smoke oozed out the bathroom once seungmin opened the door, and his mother immediately grew concerned once she saw the state her son was in.

"seungmin, what's wrong?"

she insisted on taking care of the scratch wounds, gently applying ointments and wrapping his arms in bandages.

but seungmin still didn't tell her. he felt like he was unable to speak, a knot in his throat as he parted his lips to speak.

so mrs oh understood that her son needed more time. "don't scare me like that anymore" she mumbled before leaving his room again.

seungmin couldn't recall the whole day. was he lying on his bed the whole day? probably.

once the sun slowly started setting, seungmin decided on something.

"i'll go take a walk" he said, surprised his voice didn't fail him. receiving his mother's approval, he walked out.

his feet dragged him somewhere, his brain didn't even comprehend where he was going.

until he noticed the leafs crunching underneath his feet, staring up at the old TV tower.

the door that led to the platform above was opened already. good, means that he doesn't have to pry it open.

he couldn't decide over his body last evening. with what he had planned, the decision was fully his.