Boats and Ships

Chapter 7

"How? How can you be pregnant?!" Asked Cade.

"When you raped me. Well not you, the demon. There was no protection," I explained to him.

"I can't believe this," He said, scratching his head.

"We can't keep this baby," I assured him. "I have to get an abortion."

"What? No! You can't abort this baby! It's my baby-our baby!" He shouted, as we walked into the car to leave the doctor's office.

"Cade, I'm 17. If they find out this is your baby, you'll be arrested. And I can't care for a baby. I haven't even finished high school yet!" I told him.

"We're millionaires! You don't need to finish high school. We'll be living in luxury until we die! We can't kill this baby. I won't let you get rid of my potential son or daughter."

I began to cry. My emotions got the best of me. I was overwhelmed and felt helpless, like nothing was on my side. Cade put my head on his chest.

"Don't cry. We'll figure something out and negotiate this later, okay? For now, just get some rest while I order us takeout Chinese."

I wiped my tears and nodded.

While Cade called for takeout, I grabbed my bag and slipped out the back window.

It was already dark out. I just ran and ran and had no idea of where I was headed. I later caught sight of a bridge. Under the bridge was an ocean. More off to the side was a highway.

I stood on the bridge and got some fresh air. I took deep breathes and sat there peacefully on ledge, with the cool breeze tingling my body. My dress was flowing with the wind, along with my hair.

I opened up my bag and took out the pain killers that I had received from the doctor. I popped approximately eleven pills into my mouth.

"Ellie!" I heard shouting from miles away. I didn't see who it was but immediately recognized his voice.

"Cade, leave. I don't need you trying to change my mind," I snapped.

He ran towards me. I hadn't had the courage to jump so I just sat there, on the edge.

Cade reached me and wrapped his arms around me. I sobbed in his arms.

"We can work this out. You're seeing a therapist. No 'buts'," Cade said. I nodded.

He kissed me and I kissed him back. He then lifted me up and carried me home like a baby. I thought it was rather romantic.

We arrived home.

I went to the bathroom and closed the door, locking it. I stuck two fingers down my throat and was able to vomit nine out of the eleven pills I swallowed.

I put my pajamas on and so did Cade. We headed to bed. I couldn't help but think about what happened that night. Cade acted as if things were the same, but they clearly weren't. I shut off the lamp and fell asleep.

*
"I'm nervous," I said to Cade.

"Don't be. Your therapist is a professional," He said, as he led me into the office.

"Okay, I'll see you in thirty minutes," I said, and kissed him.

I walked into the room and was greeted by a tall and rather attractive young man. He looked twenty-five-ish.

"Good day, Sydney," He said with his thick Australian accent and cute looking grin. "Have a seat."

"So what seems to be the problem?" He said, looking concerned.

I took a deep breath.

"Well, last night, I stood at the top of a bridge and almost jumped. I even took like eleven pain killers. Then my boyfriend found me before I did anything. He sent me here because he's worried."

"Hmm," He said nodding. "What was running through your mind while you were on the bridge?"

"I felt that this was the only solution. I felt at peace. That's it really. I just wanted to be put out of my misery."

"Right, right," He said.

My hands fidgeted with my bracelets while I spoke.

"Now tell me, why were you suicidal? What made you want to end your life?"

I gulped.

"I went to the doctor's the other day and found out I was pregnant. I want to abort it but my boyfriend wants to keep it. The stress is just becoming so much. I'm only seventeen and I have anxiety through the roof. But it's off and on. Some days, I'm fine. Other days, I just want to die."

"That's hard. I'd like to diagnose you with bipolar depression but we'll have a psychiatrist confirm it and give you some anti-depressants. I'll start you off with Zoloft. Is that alright?" He asked, looking at me with nice eyes.

"Great. Thank you, Logan," I said, reading off his name tag.

"Anytime, Miss Lloyd. We still have have a few minutes before the end of our session. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?" Logan asked.

"Actually, yes. Nothing about me though. I want to know about you," I said, sitting forward in my chair.

"Oh...Sydney...I don't think I'm allowed to-"

"Just speak to me as a person, not a patient," I said, smiling.

"Okay. Well, my name is Logan Stern. I'm twenty-five-and-a-half years old. I've been a therapist for two years. I just broke up with my fiancé of five years. I love hiking and watching sports," He said, smiling. "Am I missing anything?"

"You've got everything. Well done," I said flirtatiously.

"Now Sydney, I have a question for you," He said, with a cheeky Australian smile.

"Ask away."

"Would you like to go out for coffee tomorrow for our session tomorrow? Just you and me."

I knew that this was wrong, but I didn't care.

"I'd love to."