Boats and Ships

Chapter 4

It had just reached 9:30, meaning it was my "bedtime". I'd been having nightmares nearly every night and I wasn't sure why. It was most likely because I was in this place. Cade's home.

Nearly an hour passes and I awaken, screaming and crying my eyes out. I had dreamt that I was being forced to kill Cade and if I didn't, then this man would kill us both. I wasn't sure why this dream in particular made me cry, or why my fondness for Cade was suddenly growing strong.

Maybe it was because I was spending almost every minute of the day with him. When it came time to go out and get groceries, I felt helpless and alone when he left. Like a I wasn't anything more than half a person without him. And when he'd finally come home, I'd hug him. Like a dog who had missed his owner. Maybe that's how we wanted me to feel. Either way, I wanted him by my side. I felt safer.

But nevertheless, Cade came to my room after he heard my screams, like he did every night, acting like a father caring for his daughter. Or a husband caring for his ill wife.

"Another nightmare?" He asked, not surprised.

"Yeah. I'm sorry," I said, half sobbing.

"It's fine. But tonight and from now on, I'm sleeping with you. Now push over, this bed is huge," He told me. I nodded and pushed over, facing towards him.

He began to make himself comfortable, laying on his back. He put his arm around my shoulder and I rested on his chest, as it was very comfortable. I could hear his slow, gentle heartbeat. Every inhale. Every exhale.

"So," He began, as he wiped my tears with his thumb. "What do you dream about? If you don't mind sharing."

I thought for a little before I could respond.

"Most of my nightmares, I forget about right when I wake up. Sometimes it makes me really upset when I can't remember them," I started, still sniffling but able to think.

It felt really weird to finally talk about my nightmares to someone.

"But the ones I do remember usually involve my family. In some scenarios, my family gets kidnapped or they turn against me. Other dreams are just plain fear. Like being burned alive and doing things against my will. But tonight...tonight's dream was different. It..." I trailed off.

"It what? What was different about this one?" He asked, clearly insistent that I told him.

"It had you in it."

He paused for a moment.

He finally gathered his thoughts.

"What was I doing?" He finally asked.

"Well, this man was making me...kill you. I was sobbing and yelling, 'No! No! I won't do it! Spare him, he's done nothing wrong!' But the man wouldn't listen. He wanted me to shoot you. So I shot myself, and then woke up."

I began to tear up a little, but quickly wiped away the tears, and got myself together.

"I just," I began. "I just have this fear of losing you. I despise every moment you aren't by my side, and wish that you'd always stay with me.

"I'm here to stay. You can always count on me to be your guy."

He lifted up my chin and our lips met. This kiss was warm, his lips were soft. I felt his heart start to move more rapidly. As our lips parted, he looked into my eyes and smiled.

"I love you," He said.

"I love you too," I said back.

It felt so wrong to love him. Him being 24 and me only 17. It would later turn illegal if we ended up doing something. But I couldn't help myself but feel these strong emotions toward him.