Screaming (but no noise comes out)

Chapter 19

Trigger warnings - discussion of baby loss, mentions of suicide, suicide ideation, eating disorders

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Winter couldn't help but wonder if this was how Reece felt that day he had to follow the ambulance to hospital, blue halogen lights flashing and the blaring sound repeating itself in his mind. Nee-naw, nee-naw, nee-naw. He knew his brother-in-law was in no fit state to drive, and that Autumn was in good hands with Marjorie. He didn't want to leave his wife, but Winter knew he had to be there for his brother-in-law, so he got into the car and took the drive to A&E. Autumn would be in good hands with Marjorie, there was nine days to go until the trial. Winter couldn't help but think he'd been in the hospital's emergency department far too many times now. First the day Autumn started bleeding and then had to deliver Blossom, then the time she had a seizure and the ambulance had brought her in. Now he was here a third time with his brother-in-law, not sure what to do with himself. He wanted to scream at Roger for everything that he did to his wife, but the man was unconscious and had the upper hand. He could only now hope that the trial would still go ahead. One of the doors opened and Vivian stepped through, her black bob loose around her shoulders.

"Reece Knight" Vivian called.

Winter looked at Reece, the blond nodded for him to follow before they followed Vivian through the double doors.

"How are you?" Vivian asked.

"Not great" Reece said. "Angry".

Vivian smiled sympathetically. "Well, that's understandable". Reece and Winter nodded but didn't say anything as she led them through to Resus, Vivian looked back every so often to hold the door open and check that they were okay. They weren't and she knew they wouldn't be for a while, Reece was trying to hold back tears of anger with his fist clenched at his side. That was one part she hated of the job, that she had to 'protect' the patient foremost even if that patient was a murderer. Reece's blood boiled as he saw his father lying there, his eyes red and swollen. Even in his unconsciousness, there was something menacing about him. All Winter wanted to do was go up to him and remove the tube that was down Roger's scarred throat, to watch as the man who caused all the suffering to him and his wife suffer the way they did. But realistically, Winter knew that it wasn't the right thing to do. No matter how angry and upset he was, he couldn't stoop to that level. He had to stay strong not just for himself and Autumn, but for Blossom too. He had to get justice for his daughter, and he couldn't do that by acting on his intrusive thoughts. No matter how much he and Autumn had been through, he couldn't get that low. Winter watched through narrow eyes at the man, the monitors beeping as they kept him alive. Winter wanted nothing more than to end the suffering caused by this man, but even death was too much of a lenient sentence for him. And Autumn needed him, it wouldn't be any use for him to be behind bars too.

Winter pulled his phone out of his pocket, walking out of the bed bay. He stood opposite the nurses station and dialled Marjorie's number.

"Winter" Marjorie greeted, sympathy lacing her voice.

"How's my wife?" Winter asked.

"She's" Marjorie sighed, looking over to the sofa. Autumn was sat there, hunched over with her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. "She's Autumn. She's not said anything really, just sat there with her head in her hands".

"How was she on the way home?" Winter asked.

"She didn't say much. She just looked out the window".

Winter sighed, unsure of what to say but he wasn't surprised.

"How's Reece?"

"He's Reece" Winter shrugged. "Like Autumn, he's. He's coping in his own way".

"I'm just worried about them" Marjorie said. "Both of them".