Silent Notes

Chapter Eleven: Unseen Signals

Countless little moments stayed with him, those little things killed him. The way he noticed everything about her, but she never seemed to see him. Not the way he wanted her to, anyway. He had helped her with classwork. Made excuses to interact, all because it was the only way he could feel close to her in some small way. Each time, he hoped she would see through his excuses, that she'd know he wasn't just being nice, that he cared. But she didn't. The worst part? He didn't know how to make her see it. Why couldn't she tell? Didn't she know that every time she ignored him, it felt like she was driving a knife deeper into his chest?

It stung, but even those moments felt fleeting. She had grown more distant, and it drove him to the brink of despair. He let out a slow breath, the weight of it all pressing down on him. The thing was, he couldn't stop. Even though it hurt, even though he told himself to let it go, he couldn't. She was it for him. She didn't have to try. She didn't have to say a word, and he'd still be right there, waiting.

The tension between them was palpable, gnawing at him. Every time he caught her glance, she looked away, and with every flicker of her eyes, he felt himself slipping further away from her. He had become so adept at hiding his feelings, but it was exhausting. How could she not see how much he admired her? How could she not know that even her clumsiness made him smile? Every awkward laugh, every shy moment, he cherished them all, even when she believed she was embarrassing herself.

As he recalled these moments, a smile crept onto his face, bittersweet but genuine. He remembered how they communicated without words—like the smile that lingered a little too long or the nod that felt heavier than it should. There had been times in class when he caught her staring at him, her gaze soft and inquisitive. Each time, he couldn't help but smile back, a warmth blooming in his chest. Those fleeting exchanges filled with unspoken understanding felt like a secret language just between them.

He felt the distance between them growing with every heartbeat. How could she not see how much she mattered to him? Why couldn't she just look at him, really look, and see the truth behind his guarded exterior? He wanted to scream, to tell her that she meant the world to him. But the fear of losing her entirely kept him silent.

If only she knew how deeply she affected him. The moments they shared lingered in his mind like a sweet ache and the thought of what could be haunted him. He felt like he was standing on the edge of a precipice, teetering between hope and despair. Would he find the courage to leap? Or would they remain trapped in this cycle of silence, forever wondering what might have been?

If only he could muster the strength to show her what he truly felt, to reveal that he loved her, even when he couldn't admit it to himself. At that moment, he realized that silence was no longer an option because the cost of silence was becoming unbearable.