Silent Notes

Chapter Seventeen: Tethered Thoughts

The library was quiet, save for the soft shuffling of papers and the distant hum of a printer in the corner. Nastasia sat at one of the long wooden tables, her laptop open and books scattered around her, but her eyes remained unfocused. She stared at the screen, the blinking cursor taunting her with every second she couldn't concentrate.

Around her, students worked diligently, seemingly lost in their tasks, their pens scratching against paper and fingers tapping rhythmically on keyboards. Everyone seemed to be moving forward with their lives, making progress, excelling in their studies. But Nastasia felt stuck—like she hadn't grown or changed at all since 11th grade. That same gnawing feeling of not being good enough lingered in her chest, squeezing tighter with each failed attempt to focus.

Why can't I just be like them? she thought bitterly. Why does this feel so hard?

Her hand trembled slightly as she tried to write a sentence for an assignment, but she couldn't bring herself to focus. She let out a quiet sigh, letting the exhaustion catch up to her. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep pretending she had it all together.

Just then, her gaze wandered, and she spotted Asher across the library. He was engaged in conversation with a girl she didn't recognize. The girl had a bright smile and seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself as she spoke with him. Nastasia felt a mix of curiosity and unease at the sight.

Seeing Asher with someone else sparked a flicker of jealousy. She didn't know this girl, but there was something about the interaction that made her heart twist uncomfortably.

Does she like him too? Nastasia thought, a hint of frustration creeping in. Ew, I ain't fighting for a boy. She can have him then. A smile crept onto her face at the thought.

Asher glanced over and noticed Nastasia laughing to herself. He grinned to himself. The sight sparked a warmth in him that made him forget the girl's chatter. He hesitated, caught between staying with her and the urge to walk over to Nastasia. After a moment of internal struggle, he excused himself from the conversation, leaving the girl mid-sentence, and made his way toward Nastasia.

"Hi," he greeted, his voice warm but laced with his usual shyness.

"Hey! So, who's that girl over there?" Nastasia asked, attempting to lighten the mood with a teasing tone. "You were kind of blushing. You like her?"

Asher raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk appearing on his face. "No, are you jealous?"

"Jealous? Please. Not like I care," Nastasia said, trying to maintain her playful demeanor.

Asher's expression shifted, his gaze fixed on her. "You asking seems like you care."

Nastasia shrugged, a hint of amusement in her eyes. "Just curious, that's all."

The air between them shifted as Asher's voice grew serious, flat even, as he continued, "No, she's just a project mate." He wanted to clarify that he had no interest in her, to cut through any misunderstandings.

I like you, dumbass, he thought, the words echoing loudly in his mind.

Nastasia caught the change in his tone and let a small smile break through. "Good to know," she replied, a teasing edge in her voice.

They stood in the moment, the weight of their shared silence filled with unspoken thoughts and lingering glances. In the background, the library hummed softly around them, but in this bubble, it felt like time had paused, allowing the two to breathe in the connection that hung heavily between them.