Silent Notes

Chapter Nine: When Eyes Refuse to Meet

Nastasia could still remember that afternoon as if it happened yesterday. The sun had been warm, casting long shadows across her front yard, her heart racing the moment she saw Asher, leaning casually against the doorframe. He didn't do much, didn't say much, yet she felt the weight of him there like an unspoken tension hung between them. His presence impossible to ignore. Though she can barely look at him. She greets his mom and sister, her usual smile plastered on her face, but she's too shy to meet his gaze, yet she was hyper-aware of him standing there. Her heart pounded in her chest, her thoughts spiralled out of control. 

She was afraid her feelings might spill out if their eyes locked. So she hid it, unintentionally giving the impression that she didn't care. Would it be obvious if she looked at him? If she dared to meet his eyes, would everyone know, she was teetering on the edge of breaking down, her feelings too big to hide?

So, she didn't. She kept her gaze warned, pretending he wasn't there. It was safer that way—at least, that's what she convinced herself at the time. The idea of ​​giving away too much, of letting him see through her walls, was unbearable. What if he didn't feel the same? What if she just embarrassed herself?  She couldn't take that risk.

Asher had barely spoken, but she remembered the way his posture shifted. She couldn't see his eyes, but there was something in his stance, a slight stiffening, that she caught out of the corner of her eye. And when they left, she wondered if he'd noticed her avoidance, if he even cared.

But now, months later, the memory haunted her. She had unintentionally given him the impression that he didn't matter, and maybe he had taken that to heart. Because when they saw each other again, He acted distant. His greeting was polite but lacked the warmth it used to have. He barely looked at her, just like she had barely looked at him that afternoon...

The realization hits her hard. Was he giving her a taste of her own medicine? Had her silence that day left a scar she hadn't even noticed? Maybe he thought she didn't care, just like she had feared. The tables had turned, and now she was the one left feeling like she didn't matter.

Nastasia's chest ached with regret, wishing she could go back and change how she'd acted. But more than that, she couldn't shake the feeling that she might've let something slip, a moment that could have changed everything. If only she had been brave. If only she had shown him that he meant something to her. In that moment of hesitation, she realized the price of silence was far heavier than the risk of opening her heart. 

Each unspoken word built an invisible wall between them, a barrier forged by unexpressed feelings pressed down. As the weight of her unexpressed emotions settled like a stone in her chest, she wondered if it was too late to change their fate. Would she find the courage to break through, or would their connection remain a haunting shadow of what could have been?