Secret Love

Drawing a line....

"But whyyyyy? I want to stay HERE, with GRAN, for the summer....." The voice whined, the face screwed up, and the eyes rolled.

"What do you mean 'why'?" Flick looked at her older daughter and suppressed the urge to sigh. "For goodness sake, Clare. Why do we EVER go on holiday? To have fun! To play in the pool and the sea! To eat new foods and explore new places! To meet new people!" She smiled and tried to make it seem like the most regular and yet exciting thing in the world.

"It's supposed to be a holiday, not an expedition MOTHER." Clare moaned and rolled her eyes.  "And why does HE have to come?" Now she was stepping way over the line, and even Jenny was horrified.

"Claire Louise Wilks! Dont you dare be so rude! Tom cares for you - yes, YOU - very much.  He has VERY generously arranged for us to have a gorgeous villa, paid for our flights, AND it means Gran can come with us. We can have three weeks, a rare treat, and have lots of fun. He wants to spend his precious time with you and get to know you. He really likes you both, and until you decided, for the FIRST time in your ENTIRE lives to pay attention to Grannie Etta, you liked him too. This isn't like you. I know it's  all new." Her voice dropped again, "he is so hurt that you don't like him anymore...."

Jenny whispered, "I still like him, Mummy..." she looked at Clare, who glared at her. "I don't CARE what you or Grannie Etta say. He's been nice to me, so...."

"Shut up! Traitor!" Clare marched away, face flaming. "I'll go, but don't expect me to enjoy it. And I won't pretend." The door slammed behind her.

Jenny looked at her Mum, tears in her eyes.  They'd always been two peas in a pod, rarely a cross word. Now, she felt all at sea. Without her partner in crime, she was lost. 

Flick sighed and crouched down, putting her hands on Jenny's shoulders. "It'll be ok, Jen, I promise.  Clare is just upset and confused. She doesn't know how to feel. She still loves you - and me."

Jenny didn't look convinced. "What if Mr Tom decides not to like us after all? What if he wants us to leave? What if Clare is rude to him? What if I get scared in the night in a strange house? Mummy, this is horrible, I want to like Mr Tom, but I... I just.... I don't know what to do....." All the questions came tumbling out, and Flick smiled gently, standing and walking with her over to the sofa.

Pulling Jenny onto her lap, she held her close and stroked her hair as she cried into her chest. "Shhhhhh baby. It's ok. Mum's here. Mum will always be here." She looked over her head out the window. She could see Tom's car drawing up outside. He had come over for tea so that they could talk about the holiday.

This wasn't going to go well.

As they stood a couple of hours later washing up, Tom and Flick talked quietly.  The girls lay on the rug in front of tv, giggling as they watched a rerun of their favourite cartoons. Sisterhood restored; they were once again thick as thieves.

Clare had been polite and well mannered. She'd spoken when spoken to, answered Tom civilly, and been nice to her sister.  In fact, the entire meal had been a model of polite conversation.  About as far from a normal family talking about their holiday as it was possible to be.

Tom sighed, "Look, if they really don't want to go with me, then you four should still use the villa.  And the plane tickets and the hire car." He passed her another newly clean plate.  Flick took it and slowly dried it, shaking her head.

"No," she glanced over her shoulder and sighed. "I'm not being blackmailed. Not by that old witch of a grandmother via her granddaughters. We ALL need this holiday, Tom. I have to let them see they CAN have a family again." She turned him, wiping her hands on a cloth. "You know, this may be selfish, but... I'm tired of being just 'mum'. I want to be ME too. They need to understand, in whatever way we can manage it, that I have needs too." There was a catch in her voice and a little sparkle in her eye. "And I do need you, Tom. So very much."

He smiled and put down the plate carefully.  Putting the tea towel on the counter, he took her hands. He kissed their knuckles softly. "And I, my love, adore you. Whatever we have to face, whatever we have to do, we'll do it together...." he looked into her eyes. "I love you, Flick. I love the girls. No matter what."

She looked down at their joined hands, a gentle smile on her lips. Her heart told her it would be ok. Her head wasn't so sure.

Clare and Jenny sat in the car and looked out of the windows, each lost in their own thoughts.

Neither had been to Spain before and Jenny was astonished by the azure blue of the sea and the verdant green of the trees. The pale golden villas and farm buildings nestled into the hillside and the winding road, edged with the little yellow blocks. 

Clare propped her chin on her hand as her elbow rested on the door. She stared resolutely out over the bay, watching the white horses dance over the waves in the brisk offshore breeze.  Little coloured dots of Kitesurfers launched themselves from the beach. She was determined not to enjoy the view. She was determined not to smile.

Her reflection told another story entirely.

Nancy sat in between them, reading a guidebook to the area.  Now and again, she imparted a pearl of wisdom or a suggestion for something to do.

"Did you know there's a little train that runs to Palma from here? Antique wooden carriages. It looks just like something out of a storybook! " she held the guide out for Jenny to look at.

"Ohhhh Gran its so cute! Muuuum, can we go on? Pleeeeeeeze?" She wriggled in her seat. "Mr Tommmmmm, please?"

"Why are you asking him?" Clare growled quietly, and Jenny spun around, glaring at her.

"YOU don't have to come. YOU can stay in the house.  WE don't want your grumpy face." She stuck out her tongue, and Clare turned away, scowling.

"Enough you two. Yes, we can go on it Jenny. No, you're not staying in the house, Clare." She paused, looking over at Tom. "Let's just all give this a chance? Yes?"

"Yes mum!" Jenny piped up instantly.

"Of course Mum!" Gran nodded and winked at Jenny.

"Sure thing Boss!" Tom.saluted as he drove, making Jenny giggle and, despite herself, Clare's icy wall melted just a fraction.

"Okayyyy." She grudgingly admitted, then realising she was in danger of being pleasantly involved, pulled the shutters down and resumed her scowling.

Jenny rolled her eyes just as Tom looked into the rear view mirror. He winked and she giggled, her cheeks turning a delicate rose colour as her hero smiled just for her.

Jenny, it seemed, had decided to be her own person and not blindly follow her sister's lead. Flick couldn't have been more proud.

Flick had turned just in time to see the exchange, and she felt a little flicker of hope ignite.

If there was hope, all was not lost....