Secret Love

New beginnings...

"What do I do, mum?" She sat in the kitchen and looked at her mum, tears running down her face. "I'm just so scared?"

"Darling, why on EARTH are you scared? You're a grown woman.... with all that entails. You need to live, sweetheart. Live and love. John wouldn't want you to lock yourself away. You know that as well as I  do."

"I know, Mum, but what about the girls? They still worship their Dad. He's not just on a pedestal: he's in a glass case on a gold throne." She smiled a little, and her mum nodded.

"I know you think that love, but I think you'd be surprised how accepting they can be... for the right man." She smiled and turned as said girls barrelled into the kitchen, raided the fridge, shouted hello, and ran out again.

"Ok, mum. I'll see how it goes, then decide if I want to let the girls know about him - and vice versa." She smiled and blushed. "He's special mum." She admitted much like she had almost fifteen years before. "Speak soon, ok?"

Her mum smiled and held a hand up to the screen, almost like she was stroking her cheek. "Be happy, my darling.  Forgive yourself, and be happy." 

With a nod and a sniff, Flick hung up. It wasn't that simple, though, was it? Other people's kids. They were just that. OTHER people's kids. It took a big heart to love someone else's legacy. She'd learned the hard way that most men just didn't have what it took.

First, there was Robert - Bob - he'd been the one to woo her out of black and into the world. They seemed well matched. They seemed to be a new start. Until he realised that the new start involved a small but perfectly formed family.

He'd ghosted her, and she'd vowed never again.

Then, months and much soul searching later, there was Davie. Handsome, romantic, full of promises. Blue eyes, blonde hair, and very VERY cold feet. Again, as soon as he'd clapped eyes on the girls.... gone.

Now, despite her better judgement, there was potentially Tom. Could she allow herself to believe he would want a readymade family? He was, well, he was a star. His image was everything. She knew that without a shadow of a doubt, he was a wonderfully compassionate man, but sometimes that wasn't enough was it.

So, she was torn. Tell him now and risk killing it - whatever 'it' was - stone dead or hide them and at least have some fun.    Her heart said tell him and it would all be ok, her head told her not to be so stupid.

But stupid was her middle name..... wasn't it?

Tom looked at his watch lying on the bathroom unit, then in the mirror and slowly drew the razor down his cheek, stopping just short of the nicely developing goatee.

He had just over an hour until he had to leave. An hour until he could silence the screaming doubts in his head.  Not about her, God no, about his own worthiness. She was a strong, independent, gorgeous, woman. Why on EARTH was she still single and even more puzzling? Why was she interested in an overgrown kid with a penchant for dressing up? She seemed, to his delight, to be completely unimpressed with his notoriety.

Well, he thought to himself as he rubbed his face with the towel, only one way to find out....

Flick waited in the hallway. Shoes securely fastened this time, there would be no repetition of the previous day.  She smoothed down her dress and checked her hair. Again.  It hadn't changed from the last five times.

She was just spritzing herself with her perfume, when the doorbell screamed Tom's arrival.  Even though she was expecting it, she almost jumped a mile.

Heart thudding, she shook her head. So mutch for cool calm and collected. Taking deep breaths, she calmed. Atta girl ! She nodded to herself, you'll be ok.  Just get it all in the open and you'll be ok.