Falling into Place - Forbidden Heart Series

30| None of us are kids anymore

"Drink this."

I didn't brother opening my eyes. I knew who was in front of me and what he was holding. "Sod off, Nate."

"Haven't we done this before? Not too long ago, I was the guy being an ass and you were the one trying to make me chug some caffeine. Don't remember? Well, let me refresh your memory. It was when Lanie --

"I remember!" I barked. With a glower I snatched the coffee cup from my best friend. "There's no need for the reminder."

I took multiple gulps of the coffee. Probably not wise since it was boiling hot, but I figured if my mouth hurt like a bitch then my chest would stop. When I heard Ryan loose it on the phone, I went mad. I wasn't even sane enough to call 9-1-1. Harper did.

Then we got here and I still haven't been able to get a hold of myself. We've been here for over three hours and they only information we've received was that they're running tests.

Tests, tests, and more test.

I was so over fucking tests. I wanted answers. I needed answers. I needed Ryan to come out of those doors and tell me that she was okay. That the baby was okay.

"Better?" Nate asked after a couple minutes.

Finally looking up at him, I met his gaze. "No. Not better. Nothing is fucking better." I ran a shaky hand over my face. "I'm losing my fucking mind, Nate. What if something's wrong or they lose the baby?"

"You can't think like that."

"Aren't you?" He looked away and I continued, "I know you have the same fears I do. We're all worried about what's going to happen. And to make matters worse, I can't help thinking about. . ."

Nate's expression was curious before understanding dawned on him. "You can't help thinking about you and Harper in this position if she gets pregnant."

My voice cracked. "Why is this happening to us? I know I screwed up and fucked my way threw my life with countless women and probably deserve some kind of punishment, but I can't help feel like the people I love are paying the price just for knowing me."

Nate started shaking his head before I even finished my sentence.

"Jackson, that's bullshit. You aren't the only one who has lived a promiscuous life. I'm a perfect example of that. Until I met Karma, all I cared about was getting laid. But she made me a better person. And Harper made you a better person. You and Harper don't deserve the hand you've been dealt. And Ryan and Danielle don't deserve whatever is happening now. But it's happening and we just have to deal with it. We have to deal with it and be there for each other and hope for the best. That's all we can do. Every single one of us has been handed a shit sandwich at some point in our lives. We just gotta eat it and hope it doesn't give us food poisoning."

I leaned back against the wall and shut my eyes. "You're right. I know you're right. This is all just-"

"Too much," he finished for me. "I know. It is for me, too. And Karma. Gwen. Cherise. Jamie, Lanie, Ayden, Harper. . . everyone. We're all here and we all have each other to lean on. No matter what happens when those test results come in, no one is alone here."

Surprisingly, I smiled at that. "When did you become so grownup?"

Nate scoffed and took the seat in front of me. "I grew up a little each time I got served one of those shit sandwiches I was talking about. When I lost Karma the first time. When my parents died. Then when I lost Karma again. I just realized I wasn't a kid anymore, Jackson." His voice dropped to a whisper. "None of us are kids anymore."