Falling into Place - Forbidden Heart Series

40| A little too Real

Tests. So many fucking tests.

I wasn't in the best state of mind when I arrived at the doctor's office, then when they looked over the baby and asked us to go to the hospital, I lost it.

But no one noticed. I somehow was able to appear all calm, cool, and collected. But it was just a facade. A mask I was wearing to keep my wife from assuming the worst and losing it herself.

Assuming the worst. I assumed the worst. Ever since we came through those goddamn clear double doors that read neonatal Intensive Care Unit, I've been assuming the worst.

And the worst made me want to fucking puke. The worst wasn't something I could comprehend. It wasn't even a fucking possibility. There was just no way in hell.

"You should go update Jackson and Harper."

Danielle's voice drew my attention and it put a pause on my inner turmoil. Jackson and Harper didn't need to be updated. I've been texting them every five minutes. But my wife knew me and she knew I needed to get out of this fucking room and go for a walk or something.

"Yeah, okay." Rising from the chair I strode to Dani and gave her a soft kiss. "Let me know when they bring  the baby back?"

"Of course. I'll call you right away."

I kept my gaze from landing on the now empty warmer. The warmer where my daughter has been poked and nodded and prodded for the last five fucking hours. The warmer with clear sides and the pink blanket. Staring at that thing again wasn't going to help me, Danielle, or the baby.

Squeezing my eyes tight, I walked out of the room and headed towards the waiting room. As I walked down the hallway, I couldn't stop myself from wondering what was behind the closed doors of every room in this area. One by one, I passed them.

Most were quiet and I couldn't hear anything from the other side. Then there were some that weren't so quiet. I could hear mothers and fathers crying from the other side of the wall.

Fuck. This was too much. All of this was just too fucking much. It me a single nod of understanding. He knew I wasn't here for a good reason. Unfortunately, I knew why he was here, too. And if he stepped one foot into my daughter's room, I would actually loose it. Just go bat-shit crazy.

When I got to the large double doors, I pushed the silver button. They opened wide, each going a different way. I didn't make it a foot into the waiting room before Jackson, Harper, and my parents came rushing up to me.

"What's going on, Ry?" Jackson asked. "Any news?"

I looked at each other of them. My dad was with me when I got the call from Dani to come here. No way was he not tagging along. Then he called my mom who arrived not long after we did.

Jackson was my first call. We were both so fucking tired of hospitals, but I needed him here for this. I needed my brother. And I expected him to bring Harper. She was his support, just like I needed Danielle. One of us wasn't complete without the other.

We also called Danielle's mom who was out of town visiting friends. She said she was coming straight here, but Danielle told her not to. She told her we would keep her in the loop, but not to cancel her trip until we knew for sure there was a reason to.

Deep down I think Danielle just didn't want her mom here because it would make this whole situation even more real for her. That was something I could definitely understand. If this got any more real for me then. . . well, fuck. I couldn't even go there.

"No news yet," I said flatly. Like a fucking robot or something. "Still waiting. Danielle suggested I come out here and get some air."

Harper reached out gently placed her hand on my shoulder. "Ry, are you sure you don't want us to call the others? I know they would--"