Falling into Place - Forbidden Heart Series

50| It stays with you forever

I was really starting to hate funerals. The last one I went to was for Everly  -- and that was a fucking bitch to get through. Now I could officially say that the last funeral I attended was that of Cherise Lovette. Loving mother and friend.

Everyone attended the service. And it was a beautiful service. Each and every one of the people who loved Cherise got up and shared a memory about her. Some stories brought more tears. Some got a few laughs. Then there was one or two, mainly from Nate, that got a cringe reaction. But everyone spoke in her honor. Everyone laid a lilly -- her favorite flower -- on top of her casket before it was lowered into the plot next to Jamie's grandmother.

Throughout the service, Dani and I never left Jamie by herself. We each stood on either side of her, prepared to catch her if she suddenly lost the ability to stand and fell to her knees. I wouldn't blame her if she did. I fell to my knees at Everly's funeral. Hell, it still felt like I was on my knees in front of her headstone, praying that she wasn't really gone.

That's what losing a loved one did to you. It brought you to your knees. At some point you might physically get up, but you will always be in that position. Feeling the pain. It stays with you forever.

"More wine?"

Roger's voice drew my thoughts back to the present. I was sitting at the bar Down the Rabbit Hole. Per Cherise's wishes, we were having the reception here. Roger was kind enough to take care of setting everything up for us. He didn't know Cherise as well as us, but he still felt her loss.

"I'm good, Rog. Thanks."

Alcohol wasn't going to dull the ache I was feeling right now. I learned that lesson the hard way after Everly died. I spent weeks in my apartment by myself, drowning myself in scotch and whisky. It didn't make it hurt any less. If anything it worse. Dani is the one who saved me from that hell. If she hadn't have shown up with that damn casserole, who knows what my life would be like now.

Looking to the right, I saw Jamie and Danielle talking with Lanie, Harper and Karma. I wish Jamie had someone to save from her own hell like my wife did for me. Someone to help her stand up and heal. To get off her goddamn knees. Just. . .  someone.

Danielle left the group to come and sit by me at the bar. Her eyes were red and puffy. Just like mine and everyone's else's. "Jamie's going to head home. She wants some alone time."

"Should we take her? She really shouldn't drive in her condition."

"I offered, but she wants to take an Uber. I didn't want to be pushy. As much as I wish I could fix this for her."

Placing my hand over Dani's, I gave it a squeeze. "You are helping her, baby. You do so much for her. She's lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you."

She smiled sweetly at my words. "I'm lucky to have you, too. I wouldn't have made it through all of this without you." She looked in the direction of the exit as Jamie left. "I just wish there was more we could do for her. I hate the idea of her dealing with this alone. No one should be alone at a time like this."

"Maybe give her a few hours then go by and check on her. You can grab some of her favorite food and snacks. Maybe take the girls with you and you can all do a sleepover."

For a second, she seemed excited by my suggestion. But then she frowned. "I can't sleep over her place. What about Violet? I need to be there to--"

"I'll be with her tonight. I know you don't want to be away from her, and I completely understand if you choose to stay at the hospital, but our daughter is doing so well and is going to be coming home in a week. And you know I won't leave her there alone. If you want to be there for your best friend, it's okay. It doesn't make you a bad mom. You could never be that."