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Is it weird that I miss my depression? I haven't really known what I've been feeling these past few days but it's not that.
I've been so detached, from everyone and everything. It's boring as hell to say the least and I'm sick of it but I also kind of like it.
but at the same time I miss that lonely hurt feeling. the constant crying caused by my never ending pain and heartache. It seems to be ending, or at least giving me a decent break before crashing down on me again.
at least I was feeling something, right now I don't feel much of anything but a strong urge to do absolutely nothing and distance myself from the people in things that my everyday life usually consist of.
I wouldn't mind the distance, I seem to have grown apart from the things and people I'm used to putting up with. the same old faces and places are becoming less and less appealing by the second.
the same meaningless conversations making me lose more and more interest. it's the same thing over and over as if my life is on autopilot going through the same everyday motions with no way out.
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I was going through some things this day, I get so numb and underwhelmed that it starts to be overwhelming if that makes sense.
(I don't have the real date because I accidentally edited it the other day without saving the date)
10/14/24
10/16/24