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I don't feel okay at all, I can never seem to be in a good mood. I cry all the time, always feeling hurt. I feel so unloved and unheard. the only thing on my mind is how badly I want to leave and be forgotten.

I'm starting to hate myself for how badly I feel towards everyone and everything. It's so sad because I used to love myself and everything so much. I used to be such a positive person but now I just feel like this broken mess.

don't get me wrong, I still absolutely adore myself but not like before and not how I would like to.

you know that feeling where it feels like no matter how hard you try, you can never do anything right? like no matter what you do nothing is ever good enough for anything or anyone.

I've been feeling that a lot more lately. And I've had so much good happen recently, getting accepted into colleges, learning to drive, doing things I thought I would never do because I'm scared of getting to far out of my comfort zone. I can't enjoy it or be proud of myself for it though. I want to be but there's something stopping, as usual.

we can never just be cool and happy.

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I swear 2021-2022 were not the best of times for me. between school, work and toxic relationships, I didn't feel like myself at all. It's getting better now though.

12/23/22
10/17/24