Last night was a strange dream.
The first part of the dream was when her sister was running after her. She was trying to take something from Lucy and she ran like hell. She ran until she got a rope that hung from the ceiling and flung herself out of range of her sister. She flew and leapt and kept keeping out of range.
The second part of the dream began when a guy entered into the house and started shooting everyone. He shot someone that apparently Lucy knew. In the dark, Lucy went to the dead body and tried to shake him awake as if he were sleeping. She made herself shake him, convincing herself that he was not dead but only sleeping. By a miracle, he opened his eyes and she quickly began to haul him up and take him to her room. He said that it was hard to walk with one leg and Lucy looked down to see that he indeed had only one leg. But how did he lose the leg after getting shot in the head?
His body was extremely warm, to the point of hot.
She got to her room and tossed him onto the bed. She fell ontop of him and realized he was slick with sweat and was so warm. She kissed him and said that she was so happy he was alive. He kissed her lips. This kiss was soft and his temperature made it hot. Her body pressed against his was insanely warm and she loved it.
That concluded the dream.
The first part she could partly understand. Whilst at home, her sister would always take from her. Had she ever seen her sister do it with her own eyes? No. This is how she knew:
Once, Lucy had left a ginger tea packet in the kitchen next to the kettle when her Mom called from the living room. When she came back to the kitchen, she saw her sister leaving the kitchen quickly. When she returned to the kettle, the tea bag was gone.
She left her phone charging in the outlet next to where her sister was sitting in the office. When she came back, the password had 36 failed attempts at unlocking it. 36!
One of her previous boyfriends had gifted Lucy a nail polish. Lucy kept it on her dresser, in plain sight. One day it vanished and Lucy figured she lost it...until she went to her sister room and saw it on the counter. She reclaimed it, it vanished and magically appeared in her sisters room again. It happened once more and Lucy finally gave up.
Lucy had left her headphones on the couch in the living room and ran to get her blanket from her room. When she returned, the headphones were gone and her sister was sitting by the table in the corner. She lifted the cushions, looked under the couch to see if they had fallen. Nothing. She asked her sister if she had seen them and noticed her sister trying not to laugh. That was when she began to be suspicious. She never found them and had no earphones for maybe a year and a half. One day, when she was cleaning out the kitchen pantry, she found them stuffed inside a box of paper bags, all the way to the back of the pantry.
When she was at the airport she saw a bag of Hershey's kisses on display. She bought a huge bag to share with her family. The flavors were dark chocolate, white chocolate and cookies and cream. Lucy loved cookies and cream and was excited to try it. When she got home, she foolishly set the bag on the table in front of her family. The next day, the bag was gone and a bowl of about 10 chocolates were placed. Not one cookies and cream to be found. Her sister had texted in the group that she poured them into a bowl for them to share. If that was not bad enough, a few days later, she saw the wrappers for the cookies and cream ones in the bin. She had never got to taste one.
Having snacks in the house was only possible when Lucy and her brother hid them. Don't get her started on the amount of food her sister would package to take for herself and her boyfriend. Her fat boyfriend.
The list went on and on, but the one that broke Lucy's heart was this one: When Lucy had just started crushing on Adam, she wrote all her feelings and thoughts down in a journal. Like an idiot, she placed it on her desk in her room. How did she know her sister read it?
They were driving from the dentist one day when her sister hijacked a ride for her boyfriend on the vehicle.
Suddenly he asked Lucy out of the blue: "Lucy, how is Dr. Finema..." and quickly heard her sister shushing him. That was what had broke her heart. Not only did she read it, but told her boyfriend about it. Words from her heart, written onto her journal, coming from that bastard's mouth. That must have been what really made Lucy hate him.
So did Lucy have evidence that she could prove her sister guilty in court? Nope. Did her sister have any that could prove Lucy guilty? Absolutely.
Lucy had gone into her sister's room to retrieve the things that were stolen from her. One day, Lucy did so. A few minutes later. Her sister barges into the office "Can we stop the stealing? It's getting out of hand!"
Lucy was shocked. Her sister had been in the bathroom. It had been her own thing that she was trying to reclaim but could not find it. She did not touch anything else and left her room.
How did she know Lucy was even in her room? Her sister pulled out a small camera from her pocket and showed the damning footage to Lucy's parents. And of course there she was. Though she had not taken anything, here she was. Clearly in her sisters room where she was not supposed to be.
That must have been what shattered their already fragile relationship for about two years. Lucy did not speak a word to her sister for two years and her sister was not inclined to do so herself. They were both wrong. But the only person who was caught was Lucy.
They had been more or less forced to reconcile when they had to work together on things. Through subtle compromise on both parts, by some miracle, they were able to laugh and joke again. Their relationship was now mended, though still rocky in some areas. Lucy was not foolish enough to trust her sister ever again. Or to ever enter her territory again. For crying out loud, she had loaned her sister her cute pink side bag for one event and her sister never returned it. She wore it every wear she went and never returned it. Her brother had lent his Kindle Reader to her once when she needed it and she never returned it to him even when he asked her for it.
So no, she could never trust her sister. But she did forgive her. For her own piece of mind. She would never make the mistake of lending something to her sister that she wanted to see again. Never go into her room again.
She would never own a diary again. Never buy snacks that had to be stored again.
Never paint her nails again.
Never leave her headphones unattended.
Lucy wondered if that was the reason that as soon as something was given to her, or even if it was something bought for herself, she felt like she had to give it away. Because if she was not going to have it anyway, giving it away herself at least put her in control of the situation. It meant that she had a choice. She made that decision herself of not having it and giving it to the person she wanted to. Before it could get stolen from her.
She could see how that bit of trauma had bled into her life. There was nowhere to hide from her sister so she figured it was better not to have anyway. Safer that way. Safer for her to be alone than have a man that someone could steal.
Safer to be alone...
She would never be able to keep it...so why have it in the first place? Someone else should have it instead.
Isn't that why things were taken from her in the first place?
So if she would not be allowed to keep a journal, if her most personal thoughts and feelings would be shared with her sister's boyfriend, why not the whole world? So here she is, typing up every detail of her past, present and unforeseeable future for the world to see. At least she still had a place to vent. At least she had control over the accessibility of her heart to the world, events of her life veiled in fake names and vague locations.
At least she got to make that decision herself.
