Running on the Beach at Night

Running on the Beach at Night (Chapter 21)

Chapter 21

RECAP

“Samantha! Wait..” I turned to hear Danny screaming from the dock at me but I ignored him.

          Grant kept his arm around me as we kept walking, I wanted to stop so badly and hear what he had to say. Anything he had to say would just be more lies though, we would be wasting our time.

          I look back once more at Danny who was now closer to us, “Please Sam, just please stop.” He was talking in a normal voice now, but I kept walking with Grant.

          “Just ignore him babygirl.” Grant held tighter onto me as we got into the car. For once I didn’t want to hear what Danny had to say.

          Everything I knew, was about to change even more than it already had. I would tell Izzy everything now since I had nothing to lose, and I wouldn’t think about it at all. I had to end this once and for all.

          I looked in the reer-veiw mirror to see Danny standing here with his arms slinkeddown his sides watching us drive off, this wasn’t even close to a dream. It was more like a nightmare, a night mare that I would never wake up from.

Chapter 21

The rest of my day had gone extremely slow, nothing seemed real. I couldn’t do anything without thinking about Danny’s facial expression when we had driven off leaving him in the parking lot earlier. For the first time, he was the one that actually looked heart broke, like he had just lost everything that actually meant something  to him. I had been waiting for that expression since the beginning. Now that he and Charlie were getting married earlier he wanted to give me the look? I couldn’t take it, I was already vulnerable enough.

I couldn’t even make myself shower, or unpack. As soon as I made it back to the Inn, I crashed in my bed and slept what seemed like hours.

In reality, when I woke up I realized I had only been sleeping for 15 minutes. Sleep was the only thing I wanted to do though. I wanted to feel bad for myself, I wanted to cry my heart out, and I wanted to eat a whole tub of rocky road ice cream all by myself and not feel bad about it.

I finally leaned up from my bed and leaned on the headboard. Feeling bad for myself and crying my heart out had become an everyday thing. I was getting used to it.

So, I guess there was a brighter side in all of this. I had to think of it this way: things could only get better. I was rock bottom, nothing could get any worse than it already was. I had always been told, to never say that though. I had always been told that things can always get worse.

Of course, I wanted to believe that everything would get better instead of worse, but from where I'm standing, that was something I refused to have confidence in. Who would think that everything would get better? I have come to terms that the only way that things will ever get better is if I let them. Moping over Danny and feeling bad for myself would only make things inferior for me.