Running on the Beach at Night

Running on the Beach at Night (Chapter 28)

Chapter 28

Recap-

“Go.” She pushed me out of the door, and I looked at her surprised.

‘’Samantha, don’t be-‘’ Before I could say anything else, she was pushing me harder towards her door. Finally, I dropped my hands and moved easily towards the door.  I looked down to my feet, trying to avoid her sweet, hurt, innocent crying eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut, “I’m sorry.”

I watched her, as her tears finally broke again and streamed down her face. She slammed the door right in my face. Then at that moment, I felt so small. Like I didn’t even exist. I couldn’t imagine how she was feeling right about now.

I slowly walked down the stairs, not looking back. I knew if I did I would be tempted to go back and tell her that it was all a lie that I couldn’t live without her. I couldn’t let that happen though. For the first time of the summer, I had finally grown the balls to make an important decision.

When I finally got to my car, I sat there for the longest time staring out into the distance. I hated making decisions. I hated my life.  I hated Samantha for not trying harder to keep me. I hated my dad for being the greedy son of a bitch that he is. I hated Izzy for knowing me so well, and pointing out the fact that I would in fact hurt Samantha. Most of all, I hated myself for making the irrational decision to marry Charlie in the first place. Also, I hated myself for pushing away the only person I could ever love. I would never feel for someone the same way I felt for Samantha. I wouldn’t let myself, she deserved all of my love. Now, she would never get it.

I slammed my fist into the steer wheel in anger. I had just made the second worst decision of my life. The one decision I counted on making everything better. I just blew it completely because of the two people that didn’t even care for my happiness in the least. I just blew everything for the only person I had ever truly cared about in my life.

There was no turning back now though, I had already ruined everything enough. I would just have to make myself happy with Charlie, even if it was all a lie.

Chapter 28

          I sat on my bed silently for the longest time. It was like I was paralyzed, I couldn’t look at anything but my hands. I couldn’t move to save my life. By this time, I had stopped crying. There were no more tears inside to cry.

          Danny had just broken off things with me. He didn’t want me.

          My heart was hurting more than it ever had, I never felt this way when Carter and I had broken things off. I felt like my heart was emptied and there was nothing left to keep it beating.  

          A small tear trickled down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away. I wouldn’t cry over something I always knew would never have the chance of being anything. Danny had just confirmed my concepts on that.

          A wave of nausea hit me suddenly as I tore my eyes from my hands, making me jump up running to the garbage can. I literally vomited all I had in me. Getting upset and crying always did that to me. My head hung over the trash can as I spit the taste out of my mouth.

          Moment later, I lowered myself to the ground into the fetal position. I couldn’t help myself from crying softly as I drifted off into a light sleep.