39 | Strangers advice

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The world is spinning

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The world is spinning. My head feels like it's about to split open, a pounding rhythm in sync with the rage coursing through me. I stumble out of the warehouse, each step heavier than the last, like I'm walking through quicksand.

The night air hits me, but it does nothing to cool the storm inside. My chest tightens as the reality of it all claws at me. A daughter. I had a daughter, and I never even knew.

My breath comes in ragged gasps as I stagger to the side, bracing myself against the cold brick wall. The images flood my mind—Valentina, the pain in her eyes, the tear on her cheek, Jacques stepping in. It all plays on a loop, but none of it makes sense. How could she keep something like that from me?

How could I lose a child I never even had the chance to know?

"Fuck!" I yell, slamming my fist into the wall, the rough stone biting into my skin. Blood drips from my knuckles, but I barely feel it. The pain in my chest is worse—it's suffocating.

I stagger forward, trying to breathe, but all I can see is her face, and all I can hear are my own words echoing in my head: You are dead to me.

But no matter how hard I try to convince myself, the loss is too real, too deep. This wasn't just her. This was my daughter... and she's gone.

I slowly drag myself toward my car, but my legs give out before I reach it. I slump to the ground in front of it, my back against the cool metal. My body has given up on me—completely out of my control.

Tears begin to spill down my cheeks, and I can't stop them, no matter how hard I try. I wipe at my face, but they just keep coming, flowing freely now. I haven't cried in years—not like this.

My chest heaves with sobs, but there's no release, no relief. Just this unbearable pressure pressing down on me. I try to breathe, but it feels like there's not enough air. My daughter... she's gone. And I never got to see her, never got to hold her, never got to be a father to her.

"Fuck..." The word slips out, barely audible through the choked tears. My hands clutch my hair as I bury my face in my knees, shaking with grief.

I don't know how long I sit there, broken. But for the first time in my life, I feel truly powerless.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, but I can't bring myself to look up. Everything is too much. "Come on, man," Theo's voice breaks through, softer than I've ever heard it. Before I can react, he pulls me into a hug, his arms wrapping around me tightly.

I don't fight it. I can't. I just let him hold me as the sobs continue to wrack my body. It's like the dam has burst, and there's no stopping it. I can feel Theo's steady grip, but the pain inside me is untouchable, unreachable.

"She's gone..." I manage to choke out, my voice barely recognizable. "My daughter, Theo... I never even knew her."

Theo's breath hitches, but he stays silent, just letting me spill everything. I can feel his hand patting my back, trying to be the solid ground beneath me when the world's crumbling. I feel like I've been shattered, and there's no way to put the pieces back together.

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