The Battle Of Hearts A Choice Between Power And Love

Chapter 22

Philip's POV

After wrapping up our talk and signing the new contract, I didn't like the frustration that took over me. All the consequences my loss of power had.

But I did myself a favour.

So that my family could be safe. So that my men and friends who believed in me could be safe.

They soon got up and left. The king's unexpected forgiveness made me think.

If all I believed was right in my life - till this very day - was indeed wrong...

I didn't know what to do - it was as if the meaning of my life had now suddenly ceased to exist.

None of this, of what I did - come here, formulate a plan to take over the labour force, use them in the company, find all the land, to dig into Aryan's past, to help the Rajputs in their war with Punjab and every other little thing.

Except Annika.

Everything I did - except meet her, being drawn to her and finding myself spending time with her - wanting to spend more time with her - everything else but her wasn't personal. I was just doing my job, as anyone else would have!

But she made me have a soft spot for her. That was a new feeling I could point out, now that I was left alone with myself and my thoughts all over the place. It wasn't hard to figure out what it was, but I didn't want to accept it just yet.

Even if I did, what difference was it going to make anyway? She wouldn't believe the truth, even if I finally told it to her!

I went back to the palace early today with William and Amaia. All of our belongings were brought back into our respective rooms by the staff. I took out my journal and I sat by my study table flicking the study lamp on and off until I finally willed myself to take the pen and finally write down something in my journal after so long due to all the tension and the work – all that led to today had previously stopped me from journaling for a while.

Date:

Day: Friday

I don't know how to say or write it down I miss her presence around me. The sound of her constant chatter, the soft jingling sounds of her anklet as she walks, the 'clink' sound of her bangles, the way she calls - or rather, called out - my name.

How do I tell her what I feel? I don't know what I feel for her I know what it is! I am just afraid to admit.... to admit that I love her and it's maddening, it's frustrating... it's scary. I have never felt like this before, yet she pushed me to feel all this and I am scared. The more I try not to think about her... all I think about is HER!! She is the first thing I think about when I see the sun rising and the last thing I worry about when the sun sets! She simply conquers my thoughts like none other! Her unpredictable nature never fails to unnerve me. Yet, here I stand, blinded by this thing called 'Love'.

~ Philip

Then I closed the journal and placed it in the drawer and closed it. I crossed my hands over the table and leaned my head down on them, tired and exhausted by the overwhelming emotions. But it felt better, now that I had penned it down. I didn't even realise when I started dreaming in my sleep.

Someone shook my shoulder, calling out my name softly. I blinked and looked up, my eyes still hazy from the nap. I heard the familiar melody of her bangles.

"I am going mad! Oh Lord! Now I am dreaming of her?" I said confused, tilting my head to the side with a sleepy smile. I met her eyes.

"How do I still dream about you? You look just as beautiful, even in my dreams!" I said. I held her hand, which was on my shoulder.